my new chapter.

wowie.

2012-01-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

oh hey, remember me?

yeah, i almost forgot, too.

kind of disappeared for awhile there.

i think in my last post,

i promised to post more often or something?

yeah, i'm not going to promise anything like that again.

it's like a new years resolution.

it almost makes it more likely that it won't happen.

so no more promises.

BUT, i'm here now.

to give you a little bit of an update.

marriage is crazy!

it's great.

it's fun.

it's awesome.

it's chaotic.

it's stressful.

and it's all around one of the best decisions i think i've made.

but it definitely is hard.

i've been married for just over two months now.

so i'm definitely no expert.

but from what i do know, those are some good adjectives, i think.

anyways, updates.

currently, we're living in a little building at altus fine art

known as "the bungalow."

little is probably, no definitely, an understatement.

it's basically a studio.

with one room being the kitchen/bedroom/office/living room

and the other being the bathroom.

but it definitely does the trick, and because his dad owns it, it's cheap.

however, in order for b to get his music going, we do need space.

and space in general is good, too.

so hopefully in the next couple weeks, we'll be moving out.

as of right now, brandon will continue to work full time for his dad at altus

(as shipping manager)

and is taking one class until i'm able to have a better income.

right now, i'm working at dialogue marketing,

a call center in provo

AND

working part time at papa john's as a delivery driver.

up until tonight (when i requested a schedule change)

i was working basically 13 hours every day.

starting next week it will just be wed, friday & saturday.

i've also got a job interview at a call center on thursday

that pays a base of $11/hr.

not too shabby.

so hopefully i can get that.

i'm literally going insane working at dialogue.

i love love love the people.

hate the job.

anyway, so there's that.

i plan (notice the no-promise)

to post some pictures,

especially because i didn't post honeymoon pictures either.

those will come soon.

ttfn.

(change of layout and song coming soon as well)

my new chapter; continued.

2011-12-01T16:07:00.000-08:00

It finally happened.

i'm officially a leavitt.

i'll have to make this post a little short
but i just can't believe how quickly everything went!
i remember thinking in july about how slow it felt like it was going.
i wanted it to just come already.
and then august hit, and i was NOT ready for that.
from that point forward, everything went way too fast.

this blog is titled 'my new chapter'
because at the time that it was created,
i had this epiphany.
incidentally that 'epiphany' had to do with a boy.
a boy who i had a big crush on.
but for awhile there, things were a little rocky with him.
eventually, however, (and somewhat past-due) he proposed.

and now, i'm starting an entirely new chapter with that boy.
so, the title stays. because it is only fitting.
so onto my new chapter, it is.

we don't have our wedding pictures back yet
so i can't post about the wedding to the extent that i would like,
however, i did get some amazing images back from miss camille johnson.
and they do look quite lovely.
(thank you, camille!)

bridal bouquet.

handsome hubs.

my grandma's 1941 cake toppers.

i do love him.

heather photographing it up.

favorite.

jennybee.

cake.

love these babes.

mackie's got moves.

twinner!

centerpieces.

so, the wedding was a success.

despite the fact that it all went by way too fast.

i can't wait to see pictures so i can see what i missed out on.

anyway,

that's all for now.

i promise to post about post-wedding events soon.

honeymoon included.

so long for now.

boom.

2011-10-26T18:48:00.000-07:00

10 days.

time is going by way too fast.

i feel like i got engaged a month ago at most.

it's almost been 4 months!

i just don't get it.

but it's cold. so the season changes have helped me accept the time change.
there's still so much left to do in such little time,
but i'm finally starting to feel like i can breathe a little.
despite the fact that i've been in this relationship for 4 years,
i'm surprisingly nervous for what's in store for our future marriage.
I mean, really truly, he's one of the most adorable human beings i know.
and i love every eensy weensy thing about him,
even the things that drive me up the wall.
but there's still so much i know i don't know.

it's all so exciting!
i'm so anxious for everything to unfold in the oncoming week.
my last day of work is next monday.
(SO ridiculously excited)
and then i get to see all the people i love in a period of 4 days.
it's going to be amazing!
and then i'm off to the amazing beaches of HAWAII.
(which is supposedly a surprise, but b's not very good as surprises)
yet another thing i love about him.

my bridal shower was last weekend, and it was AMAZING.

the sisters & mother set up an amazing hot chocolate bar

(which, of course, was inspired by pinterest)

and it was a total hit.

the twin made HOMEMADE marshmallows.

she's a genius.

and they were oh so delish.

and we all had a blast, and i loved all the presents as well.

thank you so much everyone who came and made it such a success!

anyway. on another note, there are two new albums i've been obsessing over.
the first one being:

architecture in helsinki - moment bends

and the second one being:

coldplay - mylo xyloto

please please listen to both of them.

you will be missing out on a big chunk of life if you don't.

really.

okay, well, it's off to the races.

and by races, i mean loads of last minute wedding planning.

holy toledo.

2011-10-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness!

so neglectful i have been.

i'm so so sorry.

turns out (shocker of the century) that being engaged is really super time consuming!

who'da thunk.

erego, i've been extremely busy and have had minimal amounts of time to blog update!

(my addiction to pinterest may or may not have something to do with this)

but here i am to update you on all the happenings!

with LOTS of pictures and words.

be prepared!

so much has happened in the last 3 months of this engagement!

my lexus moved on to bigger and better things

(and by better, i mean the engine seized)

may she rest in peace.

this happened to occur the weekend i was planning on going to california with b's family!

so it was a sad little time for me.

let's have a moment of silence for baby.

okay. SO, california trip, you ask??

why, yes! i did go to california for a week.

and i spent it with b's mother, cameron, and elise (the sibz).

it was a BLAST. we spent most of the time on the beach.

everyone swam, whilst i soaked up rays and took artsy pics via hipstamatic.

and then the last night was spent at the happiest place on earth!

yeah, you guessed it. this big D-land.

i'd say we look pretty pumped. and hydrated.

it was so much fun, needless to say.

and of course b decided to sit in the front of splash mountain

which he wasn't very happy about..

but then the sibz came in and saved the day!

and then we ended the day on mine and lis' favorite ride:

as you can tell from my effervescent state of bliss.

don't mind b stressing about his lost sunglasses.

anyway, so after an amazing weekend in california,

i then headed to washington to shoot my friend, ryan's and malorie's wedding!

which was super awesome!

congratulations, you beautiful couple, you!

then it was all back to work at my new job in provo.

back to the call center thang, but it's a job. and i love the people i work with, so hey, i'll take it!

AND the bonus is that they're letting me take off 2 1/2 weeks for the wedding/honeymoon.

holler.

anyway, then i had my birthday on september 24th.

some slightly negative events took place on that date,

however, i DID purchase a semi-reliable vehicle for $1,000.

happy birthday to me :)

it's a 1992 honda accord with 265,000 miles on it

which, for $1,000, is a pretty darn good deal.

and it runs pretty smoothly with hardly any problems!

anyway, we celebrated my birthday on the 25th.

and having the sweetest fiance that i do, he got me a real pearl necklace.

then he took me to rodizio for dinner,

followed by the lion king in 3D.

which is only my favorite disney movie ever.

it was a pretty great birthday.

and NOW here i am, with only just over more 3 weeks until i become mrs. leavitt.

there's still so so much to do.

but i'll blog more about that at another time.

well, thank you for letting me unload the last 3 months to you!

lovelovelove you.

and if you haven't already, follow me on pinterest!

kthanks.

the story.

2011-07-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

yes, ladies & gentlemen

this boy right here:

(photo cred: the amazing whitney tutt)

finally proposed.

it's been a long time coming with this one.

b & i met just over 4 years ago.

there have definitely been some bumps along the way.

a lot of giving and a lot of taking.

b's taught me to be a lot (i mean, a lot) more patient.

it's been a really good thing,

and i honestly can't imagine marrying him without this 4 year time span.

i've learned so much and it's taught me to become so much more selfless

(inherently, i'm a very selfish person, i think).

i never in my life thought there would be another person i would do anything for.

and now there's b.

and honestly, i would.

not a boy in the world i could love more.

anyways. moving on from all the ushy gushy stuff. :)

onto the proposal story.

first off. i need to express just how much i LOVE the 4th of july.

it is my favorite holiday.

(christmas doesn't really count because it's more than just a holiday. it's more of a season)

there is nothing i love more than spending time with the family,

having a nice BBQ, playing in the sun, and enjoying the fireworks.

this year is a special year for utah, because aerial fireworks were legalized.

so anyway, a few days prior to the 4th, b called my dad (with me in the house)

now, i thought b had called him to set up a time for brandon to ask my dad.

(my parents were in deer valley until the 6th)

so i figured, there was no way b could propose until at least the 6th.

therefore, i was safe with my chipped red nail polish on the 4th.

right? WRONG.

so we spent the entire day boating & barbecuing at deer lake with b's family.

it was so much fun.

unfortunately i had to go into work at 4pm, so i had to leave early.

we left the lake, and i went home and got all cute and patriotic.

then i went to work for a couple hours, but they let me leave early because it was slow.

so i called to ask b where i should meet him.

he told me he was going to thanksgiving point to set up the blankets with his mom.

i asked if i could come up and help them.

he said no.

(i have no idea why that didn't tip me off)

so instead i went to his parent's house and waited for b to come home.

we hung out at the house for a little bit while i waited for b to get ready.

he asked if he should use my favorite cologne.

(the one he only uses maybe once ever 6 months)

and i said "sure."

and he said "well, i can't wear it tonight and the night i propose.."

and i said, "yes you can!"

so he put it on.

(yet another hint that went over my head)

then we left the house, went to wendy's to get some dinner

(he asked if i wanted to go to a restaurant, but i assumed we were in a hurry)

we drove to the thanksgiving point parking lot and ate it there.

and the food ended up being delicious, so all was well.

then we went in, and we spent forever trying to find the blanket.

he kept asking if i wanted to sit alone or with his family.

i told him that i didn't really care, but that i loved spending time with his family so i'd be happy sitting with them, too.

he called his mom asking where the blanket was,

(i guess his mom DID move it to a better spot)

and then we finally found it

and he said "oh, i guess my mom set it up for just us."

when i looked a little bummed, he said

"my mom told me earlier that she doesn't think we spend enough time alone together and that you're probably getting sick of the family"

which i didn't even blink at because that IS something his mom would say.

so then we got all comfortable, snuggled while laying down.

it was actually VERY comfortable.

and then the fireworks finally started.

b said "tell me when you think the grand finale is."

and i said "..uhmm, okay?"

and he said "well, i kind of want to stand up for it."

and i said "uhmm.. i'll sit up.. but i don't think i really want to stand up."

and he said "mm.. okay. that works. just tell me when you think it is."

then the fireworks took a break. which i thought meant the grand finale was coming.

so b says, "will you stand up? i need to fix the blankets."

and i, so completely mesmerized by the fireworks, scooted to the edge of the blanket, somewhat annoyed.

then he says, "no, i need you to stand up."

annoyed, i moved over further.

b says "no, stand UP!"

so i did. furthering my annoyance.

then i'm staring up at the fireworks for a full 15 seconds.

when i finally look down, he was down on one knee.

(i guess he had been waiting for me to look down for about 10 seconds. oops)

and there i stood, completely shocked.

he said, "kelli, will you marry me?"

i think i said "uhhh... uhmm" for about 10 seconds.

apparently he was really nervous at this point and i finally said

"uhmm.. yes?"

so he awkwardly slipped the ring on and stands up,

and then we had a nice little kissing session.

fortunately (and unfortunately) no one saw the proposal.

then we sat down, at this point it hadn't fully sunk in yet.

he held me between his legs and said something along the lines of

"you're so perfect for me, and there's no one in world i could imagine spending the rest of my life with"

we were both so overwhelmed that neither of us fully remember.

and then he gave me a dozen red roses.

and then about 10 minutes later, the grand finale started.

which i actually preferred because it gave me some time to absorb it before i had to part ways with him.

it was pretty much the perfect proposal.

i really can't imagine any other way that could have made me happier.

so there it is.

ah yes, and here's a picture of the ring:

(it looks much prettier in person.)

and there you have it.

november 5th, save the date.

omgoodness!

2011-07-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

i can't believe i forgot to add my ALL-time favorite summer albums!

my apologies.

to you AND to weezer.

i've listened to these albums for the last 8 or 9 summers.

ever since my trip to california in high school to visit my grandma in Santa Cruz.

and i listened to these two albums for the first time on my awesome CD player.

so here you are:

weezer - the blue album

weezer - the green album.

so so soooo so good.

It's here!

2011-06-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

SUMMER.

guys.

it's here.

this is NOT a joke.

this IS real life.

it's happening.

for those of you who know me well,

you KNOW how obsessed with summer i am.

i'm usually so much nicer and more fun to be around when the sun comes out.

this summer's going to be a good one.

know why?

because i'm going to make it one.

though half of the summer will be spent working my life away,

the other half will be spent at seven peaks (season passes, holla!)

and in california (more importantly disneyland) and MAYBE hawaii.

so i'm pretty darn excited.

anyway, to kick off the summer RIGHT, i have some summer beats to introduce you to

as well as my current obsession.

PINTEREST.

seriously. it's my dream come true.

pictures & the things i love all rolled into one website.

if you don't have an account, you should request an invite.

or leave a comment and i'll invite you.

it will change your life.

really really.

now onto my current summer playlist.

starting with my annual summer albums:

alphabeat - this is alphabeat

the all-american rejects - self titled.

mika - life in cartoon

cobra starship - ¡viva la cobra!

noah & the whale - peaceful, the world lays me down

rilo kiley - under the blacklight

now onto THIS year's summer albums.

vampire weekend - contra

marina and the diamonds - the family jewels

jenny lewis - acid tongue

noah & the whale - last night on earth

OKAY, folks. i think that's all for now.

thanks for reading, and enjoy the sun!

MIA

2011-06-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

so sorry, blog world.

it's been quite some time since i last posted.

life has gotten crazy, let me tell you.

some basic updates and excuses as to why i've been away:

i got moved to a new department (I think that's when i disappeared)

i worked in said department for a month.

then i got hired on at pinnacle again part time in the evenings.

then APT laid me off.

then they hired me again back in Triage for the permanent position.

previously i was working through a temp agency.

and now (hopefully) in two months, i'll be hired on at APT.

which equals health benefits, two weeks paid vacation, just plain goodness.

so now i am working at APT from 6am-2:30pm

and then at Pinnacle from 3pm-8pm (hopefully switching to 7pm)

then it's off to bed at 9:30pm.

aka: no room to do anything.

fortunately i have saturday off at APT and only work 10-3 at pinnacle.

and then i get a day off (usually monday) at pinnacle.

So Sunday is pretty much the best day ever.

so that basically sums up the chaos in my life.

i fortunately still get to see b.

and if he moves into the 'bugalow'

(the little house on his dad's company's property, also where b works)

he'll be a 5 minute drive from APT.

In addition to work chaos,

my brother and sister-in-law moved to Seattle this weekend.

I will miss them so incredibly much.

in a nutshell:

they're obviously top 10 cutest family material.

Seattle is really lucky to have them.

And I'm so excited for this new chapter in their lives.

But I will miss them dearly.

I love you, Jor, Marie, Matt, Lucy & Anna.

And that concludes all the prominent changes in my life.

i promise i'll be better at posting.

photography giveway!

2011-04-21T18:21:00.000-07:00

k, so i know i've disappeared for awhile. but i just entered this giveaway and out of thousands of people, i SO totally hope i win.

(i hope you're reading this, crave photography)

anywho.

i know i've been horrible at posting,

and i'm sorry!

life's been busy busy.

because i just started in a new position!

i now no longer have access to idle internet time, and am instead doing something i love!

i work in a more technical department now, performing upgrades and whatnot,

and it's so much fun!

also, i got a $2 raise AND i work from 6am - 2:30pm

i've never ever been a morning person,

but this is totally working out.

i love love love it.

i shall update soon with more blogs!

pinky swear.

spring!

2011-04-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

...is not here.

yet.

what is with this snow, utah?

i mean, i guess the answer's in the question.

it is utah, after all.

soon enough i'll be basking in sunshine.

until then, i just have to hold out.

so here's a news update!

i changed my business name from

kelli renee photography

kelli lebaron photography.

i feel it's a bit more professional, among other reasons.

so, due to this change, i also created a new facebook page.

i'm making a big effort to get this one out there.

so please please please like my page.

thank you :)

click here for my page.

and if you know of anyone who is in need of a photographer, please let me know!

thank you, thank you!

good times!

2011-03-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

announcement!

for the first time since september..

i was able to fill up my gas tank!

horray!

this is how kelli's gas tank looks when it's

FULL

as you can see, it's a very happy gas tank.

(and a very dusty one, at that.)

and THIS, is how much is costs to have a happy gas tank.

in case you can't see that, it's roughly 50 bones.

yuck.

but well worth it.

no one likes a sad gas tank.

snow?

2011-03-25T10:39:00.000-07:00

tomorrow's the festival of colors and it's...

SNOWING?

let's just go ahead and cross THAT off our to do list for tomorrow.

what a bummer.

sometimes, utah, you suck.

okay, so remember how i sliced my finger open a few weeks ago?

WELL,

i have officially lost some nerve endings in my finger.

what a downer, right?

i actually feel kind of cool saying that i'm numb in one finger.

but it's still kind of sad, right?

oh. i gave up on no blogging.

cause whit was right.

it's my blog, by jingo!

thank you, readers, for staying ever so faithful. :)

blogging fanatic.

2011-03-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

i think i need to take a break from blogger.

i feel as though i'm reflecting my facebook addiction onto blogger.

it's been a whole week off facebook.

proud?

i am.

but now i'm addicted to blogger and it's

bad. bad. bad.

i now have 19 followers (thank you very much)

and i would like to hear from you.

do i post too much?

be honest.

thank you :)

input.

2011-03-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

do you think it's super weird that

in my spare time,

i get myself completely sucked into celebrity twitter(s)?
(what exactly IS the plural of 'twitter' anyway?)

i don't really use twitter all that often

(like, at all)

but i love creeping on other's.

to be more specific,

i'm basically in love with zooey deschanel.

and i have a pretty good feeling that

if she had never become a celebrity,
and by some small chance (try microscopic)
we had grown up in the same neighborhood

we could have become best friends.
and spent afternoons braiding each other's hair.

i know, it's totally silly and unfathomable,

but really.
look at her.

celebrity crush?

i think maybe a little, yes.

confession.

2011-03-21T15:31:00.000-07:00

okay, okay.

i'll just come right out and say it.

i miss facebook. AHH.

i guess that's confirmation enough that i was, in fact, an addict.

moving on.

yesterday b and i went to dinner to this amazing restaurant in AF.

KOI.

it was seriously so yummy.

i used to be a huge sushi fan,

but i've realized i'm more of a standard california roll type of girl.

and let me tell you.

Koi had some amazing california rolls.

but the yummiest thing they offered

was far and away the teriyaki beef bowl.

it was. so. good.

If you've eaten at Tokyo in Lehi,

you'd probably be hesitant to try Koi.

but let me tell you.

it was SO much better.

okay. so now that that's out of the way.

i have another confession.

i think i have an unhealthy addiction to nintendo 64.

really though, who else agrees that:

are the best games EVER?

ugh. i am such a nerd.

New friend.

2011-03-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

This is Liz.

Liz & I have fun.

Liz & I met in January of this year.

(but it seems like much longer.)

and next month we'll be (hopefully) moving in together.

I'm excited to get out.

Living with 7 girls isn't my ideal living situation.

As you could probably guess.

And this is Duke :)

Duke's going to be coming along with us

on our little adventure.

I'm excited to see what he future brings.

this week's happenings

2011-03-18T11:21:00.000-07:00

this week i became addicted to these books:

by maggie stiefvater.

these books are so good!

AND, the text in the book matches the color of the cover.

the 3rd book,

comes out in july.

i'm so excited :)

this week, i also:

became re-addicted to tutti fruitti and black licorice jelly belly's.

yumyum.

and this week i ALSO:

got to listen to the bane teach zach and abdiel how to play chess

which was needless to say, VERY entertaining.

oh, to be surrounded by testosterone all day.

it's been a pretty good week.

craigslist

2011-03-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

upon second job shopping,

i stumbled up a post that read

"SugarBaby Wanted!"

granted, it doesn't sound like a very professional position

but my curiosity caved and i had to click it.

and this is what it read:

"That's pretty much the story! I am looking for an energetic, sharp young lady who needs to be taken care of.

Could you use a sugar daddy? Even part time or short-term?

Get back to me with your requirements, your situation, and a photo, and let's get you (and me) happy!

And please try to place "Sugar Baby" in the title of your reply, so I can sort you from the spam!"

So there you have it, ladies.

if you're in need of a sugar daddy,

i've got your hook-up, right here.

he looks like a REAL keeper.

facebook.

2011-03-16T12:42:00.000-07:00

i deactivated it.

i don't know how long i'll be off of it.

but right now, i don't need it.

it's created so much DRAMA.

especially more recently as it's become a total way of life.

how pathetic is it that something that happens on facebook,

actually determines how you feel?

this has got to stop.

so i'm taking a hiatus.

if you're at the point where facebook is controlling your life

stop. using. it.

thanks.

money makes the world go 'round.

2011-03-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

it sucks how true that is.

but it's nice to start getting to a point

where i'm finally telling my money where to go

instead of my money controlling me.

afton marie fullmer,

my best friend from high school

is getting married next weekend.

so weird.

and i couldn't be happier for her.

it really is about time.

the only downside is that

i probably won't be able to go.

because

"money makes the world go 'round."

i know it sucks now.

and i could easily take out a credit card

and just add it to the loans i'm paying off

but as much of a sacrifice it will be,

i have to pay for everything in cash now.

so as much as i would love to be at her wedding,

and as beautiful as i know she will look

i've gotta keep my priorities in focus.

that being said,

i'm currently looking for a night job.

if ANYone knows of a place that's hiring, let me know!

and pleasepleaseplease advertise my photography.

if you or anyone you know needs a photographer, email me, or post a comment.

thanks :)

current loves?

2011-03-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

the aforementioned peeps.

pure ice nail polish.

specifically gray.

but seriously. i love all of their colors.

uh. maze. ing.

cookin' chicken.

no, my chicken doesn't look this beautiful.

but it DOES taste pretty darn good.

all improv, baby.

ok, 55% improv.

still makes me a master chef, right?

in a couple week's time,

my obsessions will have a teensy bit more to do with summer

(queue the bright colored nail polish!)

and less to do with candy.

(ha, as if that's going to happen)

yay summer!

but first i have to snowboard.
then it's on to slip-n-slides.

day 30- your favorite song

2011-03-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

doesn't seem like a very epic question to end on.

my favorite song has been, and always will be:

jesus christ - brand new

it speaks to me in ways no other song does

and it also got me through some difficult times.

as odd as that may seem.

i love it.

well, i'm done!

back to boring old blogging tomorrow.

but hey! i collected 18 followers!

you guys rock :)

can i just tell you how much i love peeps?

and easter candy in general?

it's way too good.

on a totally seperate note,

does someone want to just give me $200?

k cool. thanks.

day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

2011-03-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

the most valuable thing i've learned this month:

to just simply be kind.

that's all there is to it.

the other day, this song came on the radio.

it was one of my favorite songs.

one of those "no matter when you hear it, it makes you happy songs."

i thought, hey, i should post a blog about this song!

then a few days passed.

i was driving home from work the other night, and the song came on again.

"hey, i should post about this on my blog!" i thought again.

and then, i kid you not, the song came on AGAIN right after.

twice in a row.

granted, it's a high school station that has many flaws and errors,

but i took it as a sign.

so here it is.

my happy song.

this song is, in short, is about how the world is right now.

we're simply waiting on it to change.

but as you're all aware, the world isn't all going to change all on its own.

if you're sitting there waiting on the world to change,

then you have absolutely no right to complain about how miserable it is.

now, if you're doing something about it.

if you're doing everything within your control to make this place better,

then you're too darn busy to even have time to complain.

it really takes no effort at all to make this world better.

just be kind.

there are people who are happy.

and there are people who are sad.

and don't mistake temporary unhappiness for sadness

because in your heart, you know you're genuinely happy.

but if you are one of the fortunate few who truly is happy,

why not share the wealth?

and instead of letting those sad people make you temporarily unhappy,

you make those sad people permanently happy.

let's not wait on the world to change.

put a smile on your face,

and make the world a better place. :)

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

2011-02-28T10:31:00.000-08:00

2010

2011

. . .

how have i changed?
in so so many ways.

i have a lot more responsibility on my shoulders.
absolutely no financial support from anyone.
i am now officially 100% independent in every aspect.
and i feel so much happier.

even in the last year, i've become more accepting
much more open minded.
i've experienced a lot more.
and i've made a lot of personal changes.

i'm one giant step closer to becoming who i want to be
and i have a much better grasp of what i want to believe
but i'm also much more confused
and i analyze a lot more than i used to.

i kind of feel like a rubik's cube.
the closer you get to figuring out the puzzle,
the more confusing the puzzle looks.
eventually it'll all make sense
and everything will come together.
i'm getting there :)

accident prone.

2011-02-24T12:36:00.000-08:00

poor little kelli.

is a major klutz.

who slices their finger on a potato peeler?

i do.

last night i was making my all time favorite food.

mashed potatoes.

and then occured a travesty.

what i thought was the weakest peeler ever,

sliced right up into my finger.

blood. was. everywhere.

literally the most blood i have ever seen.

who knew such a small part of your body,

contained that much blood?

anyway. thank goodness i didn't need stitches.

because poor kelli does not have health insurance.

needless to say,

i'll never underestimate a potato peeler

ever. again.

(don't mind the chipped nails)

day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge

2011-02-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

im just going to kick this post out of the way today

because it's another boring one.

and also because i want to share my yummy meal plan with you for the day.

why i'm doing this 30 day challenge?

i needed things to blog about

so i did my daily blog stalkage.

and decided to take the challenge to get me back into blogging!

it's worked great, as you can see.

and i've gained more blog followers!

yay for that. :)

ANYWAY.

onto my yummy meal plan.

so i quit on the 'no sugar' idea.

and moved to the 'less sugar' idea.

because i started craving sugar solely because i couldn't have it.

not because i was addicted.

so here's what i've prepared for my 6 meal plan:

breakfast

vanilla & almond special k cereal

lunch

(my lunch is too early to take a snack before)

yummy chicken with caribbean jerk spices & garlic salt

mashed potatoes

snack #1

2 hardboiled eggs (love)

3 strawberries

snack #2

pistachos (my favorite)

banana (with nutella - yum!)

dinner

corn flake chicken

mashed potatoes

snack #3

yogurt

disclaimer: these are all in small portions.

day 26- what do you think about your friends?

2011-02-23T08:52:00.000-08:00

this is the dumbest question ever.

what do i think about my friends?

i like them?

otherwise they wouldn't really be my friends,

now would they?

except for my forced friends.

like my roommates.

who in all actuality, i probably wouldn't be friends with

on any given day

if they weren't my roommates.

but roommates aside,

i love my friends.

you guys are awesome :)

i could be okay with this day ending.

i just want to go home and sleep.

mmmm. pillow, you sound so nice to me.

sorry for the boring post.
i promise tomorrow's will be better.

day 25- what I would find in your bag

2011-02-22T12:30:00.000-08:00

wallet.

(same style. different design. i like this one better.)

iphone 4.

zicam.

warm vanilla sugar handibac

you know it.

trident gum.

(best ever for kicking sugar cravings)

yumyumyum.

also in my bag

(not pictured)

keys

headphones

ipod cord

plastic spoon

broke plastic fork

rubio's coupon

that about sums it up.

day 24- your last five facebook status'

2011-02-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

i'm friends with over half of you on facebook,

so this isn't really necessary, but hey!

it's the weekend.

so why not?

1. "great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds."

seriously my favorite quote of all time.

it's from albert einstein, but dave ramsey quoted it.

2. the enemy of "the best" is not "the worst." the enemy of "the best" is "just fine."

also a dave ramsey quote.

it's a pretty great example of how the average person lives their life financially.

don't aim for being "fine," aim for being "the best!"

3. no no no nopenope no. i'm too tired.

pretty self-explanatory.

4. feel better, teethies.

got my last two major cavities filled

and my gums hurt real bad.

but yay! no more root canals :)

5. looking for a night job. would anyone happen to know of anywhere that's hiring?

and again,

self explanatory.

i'm serious about it,

anyone know of a night job that would be hiring?

that's all. (:

and on a side note, i'm off to spend the weekend at my sister's!

3 days weekend, baybay.

as a side note, here are the roses b got me for valentines.

aren't they so pretty?

day 23- something you crave for a lot

2011-02-17T16:28:00.000-08:00

because of the point i'm at financially,

i can easily include day 23 with something else i felt inspired to share

what i crave the most,

more than anything

is financial peace.

when i say financial peace, i don't just mean,

-not living paycheck to paycheck

-being able to consistently make payments

(ie: credit card, dental, car and student loans)

i mean

being COMPLETELY free of debt

and never ever ever having any sort of debt

ever

again.

i will never let myself owe money.

and i will have an absolute minimum of 3-6 months worth of money for emergencies only

i will never own a car, that i don't actually own

(no thanks, car loans)

i will never have to deal with student loans

(who wants to be paying loans when you're already done with school?)

and i will never ever (even if i lose my job)

have to deal with the feeling of being scared and anxious about upcoming bills.

and the fantastic thing about all of this is?

it's 100% possible within this year to have ALL those things.

how, you ask?

through this book.

dave ramsey is so incredibly inspirational.

i suggest everyone read this book.

even if you already feel financially stable.

it gives me so much hope for my future

because i know that if i follow these steps

sometime, in the very near future,

i'll finally have financial peace.

thanks, dave

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

2011-02-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

this is a horrible question.

i'm no different that everyone else.

because everyone else happens to be an individual person.

i'm friendly and energetic

just like any other person who's friendly and energetic.

i'm intuitive and thoughtful,

just like any other person who's intuitive and thoughtful.

i'm messy and disorganized,

just like any other person who's messy and disorganized.

and i'm passionate about life

just like any other person who's passionate about life.

so really, no one is any different from any other person.

i'm just who i am.

that's all there really is to it.

UPDATE:

so when it rains it really pours.

like really.

right now i'm not making nearly enough money to sustain myself.

and that excludes:

- my dental loans (monthly payments of $250)

- my car (which SHOCKER, it broke down again - $500)

- debts to an incredibly generous, and anonymous individal ($500)

- car insurance ($600 up front for 6 months)

right now, i'm not making enough at all to pay off said debts.

so it looks like either kelli finds away to boost her photography business

link here (pleasepleaseplease)

or she's getting a night job at pizza hut.

goodbye social life with boyfriend for the next 6 months.

boo.

love

2011-02-14T16:55:00.000-08:00

when everything in my life feels hopeless

and nothing seems to be working out

the world seems to be ending

and i can't find any consolation

he is always there to make everything better.

i love valentine's day.

i've always loved it.

when i was little, i would anticipate valentine shopping so much

my mom wasn't super crafty, so we always bought ours

but i was a pro at making v-day boxes.

now that i'm older, even before i had a significant other,

i still love this day.

when i lived at home, my dad would buy marci and me

a card and flowers

i felt so lucky.

i still feel so lucky.

this year b gave me the most beautiful roses i've ever seen.

i just love love.

and the fact that love is in everything,

not just romantic relationships.

so even if you have no significant other,

remember how lucky you are to have someone.

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy

2011-02-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

santa cruz, the sun, and him.

really all i'll ever need to be happy.

day 20- someone you love

2011-02-10T15:52:00.000-08:00

duh :)

the bane of my existence

2011-02-09T09:51:00.000-08:00

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them

i really don't have many nicknames.

kel - because it's easy to say.

kelzerz - cause my dad likes to be creative

kell bell - because every kelli/kelly/kellie is nicknamed that.

or kelli belly - to add variety

smelly kelli - because people think it's clever

cow bell - derived from kell bell, but my friend in high school had a cow fettish

i think that's the extent of it.

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

2011-02-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

attend uvu and get a degree in photography. that would be my dream.

i miss school.

get married. one day :)

have money in my savings, and never have to worry about finances (or debt)

travel europe.

be completely stable in my photography business.

help brandon get through school so that he can get into music recording. it makes him happy.

move to california.

move to canada.

live my life in the healthiest way.

own lots of animals.

visit every single music festival there is to see.

attend a concert (preferably muse) at wembley stadium.

i can't think of anymore off the top of my head.

i'll add more over time.

(ps. doing sooo great on my sugar diet. go, kel!)

also.

2011-02-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

because that was such a sentimental post, i felt the need to make other comments in a seperate blog post.

here is my current stream of thoughts:

i decided i hate blogs without pictures.

who likes reading blogs without pictures?

no one. that's who.

so FIRST off:

twin sister.

i basically have the best one in the entire world.

and that's really all there is to it.

SECOND.

my mother.

ALSO the best one in the entire world.

not to mention the cutest.

now that we have that covered,

best ever for sugar cravings.

brandon says i'm tricking my body.

but it's so good!

and also....

brand new - daisy

margot & the nuclear so and so's - the dust of retreat

thrice - alchemy index volume I & II -fire & water- (specifically water)

obsessed.

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

2011-02-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

helen keller.

she's always been my role model.

she's inspired me in absolutely everything.

as you well know, i was born partially blind.

i don't remember anything, but I do know now

what an incredible miracle it is that I can see.

when I was in elementary school,

marci and i had a project where we researched famous women in history

i dressed as helen keller, and she was amelia earhart.

i really wish i could find that picture to post.

it's absolutely horrible. but so funny at the same time.

anyway, i have so much respect for this woman.

i highly recommend researching her life story.

she saw beauty in life without even being able to see.

and was able to listen without hearing.

what could possibly be more inspirational than that?

day 16- another picture of yourself

2011-02-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

what the what?

i got my hair done finally.

died it just a little bit darker so i can go blonde in the summertime.

mmm, summer.

sugar update!

i'm doing so good!

i've hit my goal every day this week so far.

(max of 30g of added sugar a day)

even with the fruit roll-up.

next weekend, it's the melting pot.

so stoked.

day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

2011-02-02T10:54:00.000-08:00

here we go!

#1: cee lo green - what part of forever (yes, i have the eclipse soundtrack on my iphone.)

#2: my chemical romance - the kids from yesterday (good song)

#3: the virgins - radio christiane

#4: arcade fire - we used to wait (pretty good new album. not as good as 'funeral' though.)

#5: john mayer - i'm gonna find another you (love him.)

#6: rilo kiley - the good that won't come out. (lovelove)

#7: pheonix - lasso (great. album)

#8: thrice - wood & wire

#9: amanda palmer - leeds united (such an amazing album)

#10: the sounds - goodnight freedy

well, that was fun!

sugar update:

i hardly ate any sugar yesterday! yay me.

i accidentally bought a protein bar thinking of JUST the protein part of it,

and then shortly after realized that there are 12g of sugar in those things,

so i nibbled a tiny bit of it, but that was the extent of it.

i'd say i'm doing pretty darn good.

day 14- a picture of you and your family

2011-02-01T12:00:00.000-08:00

k, so i know that Lindsay and Mike are missing from this picture,

but i just HAD to post it. i am not ashamed of the way i looked.

pasty white, boy haircut, glasses and crooked teeth.

i think it's safe to say that jeremy changed quite a bit as well....

but here's an updated version :)

even b is in this one. only one missing is my older brother, Chris.

as you can see, the family has expanded by quite a lot.

love you, familia♥

update! i failed yesterday. i gave in and ate the fruit roll-up.

BUT, today i'm doing great so far.

let's see how long i can last.

day 13- a letter to someone

2011-01-31T15:23:00.000-08:00

dear anonymous,

i guess i'll never know why you did what you did.

it really sucks to put so much time and effort into something and not get anything back.

but you know, i guess that's life.

and about half of life is full of disappointment, so i'm not going to let it devour me.

i hope you find happiness at some point in your life.

one day you'll really deserve it.

i also hope that one day you'll realize what a great thing it was that you lost.

i cared about you, and supported you in all of your trials and downfalls.

i learned a lot from the addition and loss you were in my life,

so at least i have that to be thankful for.

so thanks.

sincerely, me.

on a happy note,

no more sugar for kel!

starting today i'm on a no sugar diet.

it's been pretty tricky so far.

and i have a strawberry fruit roll-up in my purse that's calling my name.

but i will not heed the call. i will persevere in this endeavor.

i'll end the challenge on march 1st, in hopes of completely kicking my sugar addiction.

because guess what.

(i have 15 cavities.)

ahhhh! i know, right? no more sugar for me.

no no no no no.

day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one

2011-01-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

booooring.

kind of getting to the point where i'm ready for this blog challenge to be done.

then I can get back to blogging just to blog.

but, I guess to answer the question...

i just decided to get a blog one day.

i don't think it was anything in particular that made me decide it.

maybe my sister-in-law, marie, was a little bit of an inspiration with make & takes.

she's basically a blogging genius.

i just like blogging, and having a place to look back, kiiind of like a journal, but with more pictures and less juicy gossip.

it's pretty straightforward, and pretty simple.

alright, i'm ready for the next blog challenge.

that one was no fun.

day 11- another picture of you and your friends

2011-01-27T14:14:00.000-08:00

sisters. friends. same thing.

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

2011-01-26T09:58:00.000-08:00

oh my goodness.

this should be a difficult one.

you see, i used to own an 80gb ipod,

and on that ipod, i had a playlist,

and that playlist contained all my favorite songs of all time.

but i lost that 80gb ipod,

and along with it, my playlist,

and with that, my list of all time favorite songs.

so now i can't very well remember all of my all time favorite song.

because i have a lot of them.

a. lot.

but i'll try to the best of my ability to achieve this goal.

also, i'll warn you now that i'm going to cheat, because i have a lot of songs i listen to for each mood.

so i'll be listing multiple songs for each category.

my apologies, creator of this blog challenge.

happy:

the radicals - you get what you give

hall & oats - you make my dreams come true

saves the day - can't stay the same (which is actually a sad song, ha)

ELO - mr. blue sky

third eye blind - semi charmed life

Sad:

brand new - jesus christ

damien rice - cold water OR nine crimes

saosin - you're not alone

death cab for cutie - plans (the entire album)

stars - personal OR heart

Bored:

my chemical romance - you know what they do to guys like us

radiohead - karma police

the bird & the bee - polite dance song

mungo jerry - in the summertime

temper trap - sweet disposition

mates of state - re-arrange us (the entire album)

Hyped:

kanye west - stronger

muse - hysteria

the rapture - no sex for ben

dashboard confessional - fever dreams

lil' mama (feat. chris brown) - shawty get loose (so random)

Mad:

green day - brain stew

jimmy eat world - takes my pain away

atreyu - lead sails paper anchor (the entire album)

the used - pretty handsome awkward

(i don't get truly mad very often)

so there you have it, my list.

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days

2011-01-25T10:47:00.000-08:00

Something I'm proud of?

Well, gee.

I'd easily have to say that was cleaning my room.

Or, almost anyway.

I've been prolonging it since I've moved to my apartment

mostly because I have a lot of boxes and no space for them.

so I was fiiiinally able to get my room organized

boxes included.

yay me.

On a random note, I thought of an additional random fact about myself.

drumroll, please.......

I hate gluten! I've always hated bread (unless it's homemade) and flour tortillas. I also don't much care for cake. But I could never really figure out why, until the other day when I was ordering enchiladas and I asked if it was corn or flour. He said corn, so I ordered them. Then he said, "someone doesn't like gluten!" and then I realized that that's what it is! I dislike gluten. So now I can bake without gluten and actually enjoy cakes or cookies, or whatever it is I'm cooking that's gluten free. I know, I'm so weird.

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

2011-01-24T09:52:00.000-08:00

I don't like this challenge.

I'm horrible at posting goals because overtime, I remember that there are more I want to add.

So I'll just list the ones off the top of my head.

Because it is Monday, and I don't have a whole lot of thinking capacity right now.

Goal #1: Save save save. Over the next month, I want to get to a stable point financially where I'm not having to put only $10 of gas in my tank, and so that I don't have to depend on anyone else. Dependency is bad.

Goal #2: Keep my room and my car clean. (After I get them 100% clean, of course.) I've pretty much cleared my car out, and I spent all day Saturday deep cleaning my room. With the help of my amazing sister and her trusty vacuum. Which unfortunately pooped out before we could clean the corners due to the amount of nastyness that clogged it up. Now I just have a few more things to do before my room becomes the ideal college bedroom. Horrah!

Goal #3: TRY to only eat out 2 times a week at most. I eat out wayyy too much. I finally went grocery shopping, so now I have no excuse to not eat at home.

Goal #4: Try to go out of my way for other people more often. I've been pretty selfish lately because my life has been pretty crazy and stressful. But I'm getting to a point where I'm fairly stable and happy, and I want to focus those positive vibes on other people who are in more need of my help.

I can't think of anymore goals. I'll post more if I think of some.

happy monday.

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

2011-01-23T22:37:00.000-08:00

My grandma is one of the most incredible people I know. She is in all honesty the most giving, selfless, and caring person I have ever met. She has given up more than any person should in their lifetime, and in comparison to all that she has given, has hardly received anything in return. And yet, she is still so happy and grateful for her life. Not once in my lifetime have I ever seen my grandma act bitter or unkind to another person. You really have no idea of what true selflessness is until you've met her.

Aside from the numerous redeeming qualities my grandmother possesses, she is also one of my biggest supporters. She has so much faith in me, and continues to love and support me through all of the many things I have been through. My grandma and I share a lot of the same characteristics, and I can't think of anyone I look up to more. She is what I aspire to be everyday, and the reason that I am where I am today.

I love you, Grandma.

day 6- favorite super hero and why

2011-01-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

Before I post today's challenge results, I need to get something off my chest.

I hate living with 7 other girls.

I know. I bet you didn't know that I did.

I'm a fairly easy person to live with. And for the most part, I enjoy living with people.

I thought this would be an okay thing for me.

And I'm finding that I was incredibly wrong.

It may just be that I'm more irritable than normal, but when there is constant noise in the apartment, I get tired of it after awhile. Maybe it's the fact that I go to bed at 11:30-Midnight and half of my roommates are still awake and talking above the necessary noise level. Or that when I ask them to keep it down, by the time I'm back in my room again, it's back to that obnoxious (I can't sleep even with my pillows over my ears) sound. Or maybe it's the fact that when I wake up on a Saturday morning and I just want to relax and have a nice breakfast in my own solitude, I can't even be bothered to leave my room because even though the likelihood of there being only 4 girls in the living room is pretty accurate, it sounds like it's the entire relief society.

I don't get it. What do people not understand about common courtesy?

I just want to move out and live in an apartment all by myself.

Hopefully I can do that come April.

Alright. I apologize for that little rant.

Onto my daily challenge.

Mistique.

Why?

Because she can shape shift into anyone. And not only that, she's sexy and seductive.

Need I say more?

day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to

2011-01-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

santa cruz has a little piece of my heart.

♥

day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have

2011-01-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

I wish that I didn't get so darn easily distracted.

I have the attention span of a 5 year old.

Mine actually may or may not be worse.

Especially because I'm currently visiting with dear Aunt Flow.

I hate it. So incredibly much.

It makes it impossible to organize my thoughts

and to really express how I feel about things,

because somehow my thoughts end up getting lost between my mind and my mouth.

It also happens to cause a lot of disorganization in my life.

my room is messy, my car is messy.

overall, my life is messy.

I want to take the time to clean it, but

I. get. so. distracted.

I need to really work hard to make it a priority.

I'm never happy when I'm disorganized.

Oh. Another habit I have?

Getting my hopes so high and set on something,

that when it doesn't end up happening,

I get really disappointed.

I hate how much I guilt trip people

(mostly Brandon)

for things that don't end up working out

for very valid reasons.

Sometimes I just suck.

day 3- a picture of you and your friends

2011-01-19T22:53:00.000-08:00

Whoa, what? Where did this picture come from?

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name

2011-01-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I forgot to include (thanks for the reminder, sister) as one of my interesting facts that I love music. I figured I didn't really need to say it because it's a pretty well known fact about little ol' me. BUT while I'm on that subject, listen to my two new favorite songs.

Cage The Elephant - Shake Me Down

The Temper Traps - Fader (I was able to find this one for my playlist)

Marci, you'll love the second one. And the first one, too, maybe. Anyway, so that's #16 of my 15 interesting facts about myself.

So onto day 2. The meaning behind my blog name:

I started this blog when I was semi-dating Brandon, but I was kind of crazy about him. And not in a good way. Like in the "I'm crazy" kind of way. Then he kind of pulled a jerk move and I kind of pulled a psycho ex-girlfriend move and we stopped talking for awhile. After that, I kind of started reaching a self discovery part of my life. 'A New Chapter' if you will. And that's where the name came from.

Just to clear the air, I'm not psycho anymore. And he treats me far better than I deserve. Just so we're all on the same page.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

2011-01-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

My apologies to mi hermana who expected me to post this the day after I announced it.

Busy busy weekend, that's for sure.

But I'm back now for your 30 day blog post pleasure.

So first of all, here is a recent picture of me:

Now, the hardest part. 15 interesting facts about myself.

1. I am no longer addicted to wint-o-green mints. I know, I know. I'm pretty impressed myself. But it's all thanks to my roommate, Andrea Kadish, who bought me an entire stocking full of mints. My roommates told me I was never going to be able to make it last longer than a week, and of course, knowing my competitive manner, I had to prove them wrong. I got that stocking the week before Christmas and I STILL have mints in there. I only eat maybe 5 a day and that's it. I'm so proud :)

2. I have a huge love and desire to involve myself with culinary arts. I wish I could cook more, but with a major lack of space (I literally have no idea where my 'spot' is in the fridge and cabinets because my roommates overcrowd whichever place that may be) it's impossible to ever keep random ingredients in my apartment. In high school, I really wanted to go to the Art Institute of Portland for the Culinary Arts program, but I never did. And now I regret not doing anything with it. One day I'll be like my dad and cook random things all the time with really weird, yet surprisingly delicious, ingredients.

3. I have pretty bad ADHD. It was really bad for me when I was growing up, and then I was able to grow out of it in high school. Recently, with the entire weight of my financial burdens upon my shoulders, it's gotten quite a bit worse. It makes it really difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time. Writing 15 facts about myself, for instance, is one of those things. Because of that fact, my anxiety is heightened quite a bit as well and I'm also extremely forgetful. It's not very fun.

4. Growing up, Marci and I were never very close. I mean, when we were little, we were dressed the same, and we played with the same friends, but not particularly by choice. Then in high school, we hung out with totally different groups of people. I hung out with the kids who didn't so much care about their education while she hung out with the popular honor roll kids. She was prom queen and I was a speech and debate groupie. But now that we're in college and she's off and married, I couldn't actually imagine my life without her. She is my best friend in the entire world and I am so lucky to have two other halves instead of one.

5. I'm having an impossible time coming up with 15 interesting facts about myself. I'm realizing I'm not as interesting as I thought.

6. For being so incredibly uncoordinated, I catch on pretty quick to things. I don't really understand how I got so good at longboarding, but I guess I got lucky. I was also a varsity long jumper, and the second best in my school. My score even went on the records. Check it out. No, I am not ashamed to show my high jumping records. They just further prove how uncoordinated I actually am. But check out that 2nd place score I got against Ft. Vancouver. Woot woot!

7. I finally came to a point where I don't constantly feel the need to dye my hair. I've actually had it this same color for about a year, I think. Which would explain how long it's finally gotten. However, I am now trying to decide if I want to go back to blonde or stay dark. I realize the blonde is a black and white image, but your thoughts?

8. My girl friend meter is running low. And for the first time ever, I'm totally okay with it. I have Marci and I have Brandon. And I have a few other people who I can talk to should I need that consolation. But for the most part, Brandon and Marci are all I need, and I am entirely happy with that.

9. I miss high school.

10. One day I want to write a two sided novel about being a twin.

11. I'm at a point in my life where I am sick of living with roommates and ready to move up. The only problem is that I don't know how to get to the next step. Costs lots-o-money to live by yourself and I'm not 100% ready for marriage yet. Within the year, I'd love for that to happen, but I don't really want to base all my decisions off of that hope. Decisions, decisions.

12. I really really really want to go on a Disney cruise. I think it would be the one of the funnest things in the world for me. Part of me wants to go before I even have kids so that I can soak up all the fun without having to consider nap times and kiddy rides.

13. I truly want kids, and I think I'm really good with them. But I'm terrified of being a mother. I really can't imagine myself being that dedicated to being a mother. I still feel so young. And though I don't want kids for at least another 5 years, (yes, I'm aware marriage has to come first) I still can't imagine that I'll ever feel adult enough to hold such an immense responsibity. One can only hope

14. I watched the Goonies the other day and it made me desperately miss the Northwest. I can't wait to go back. I'm hoping I can go back in March but I'm really excited to go back in August for a friend's wedding. And I'm hoping that Brandon can come out with me because he's never been.

15. I wouldn't recommend anyone else fill this out unless they're feeling really creative. It's quite the challenge.

Yes! 1 of 30 done.

it's happening.

2011-01-14T15:59:00.000-08:00

i'm following the trends. mostly because it could be really entertaining for you. but mostly because it will be entertaining for me.

i'm doing the 30 day challenge.

here's the list:

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

day 30- your favorite song

kudos to Chelsea Hancock for the idea.

i'll start the posting tomorrow.

also, happy 100th blog post!

groovin'

2011-01-12T12:32:00.000-08:00

I've become obsessed with exercising. I know, about time, right?

Last night I went to an ab workout class at 24 Hour fitness.

I'm still waiting for the soreness to kick in. I'm starting to feel it in my arms and a little in my abs, but I think tomorrow I'll feel it a lot more

Yep. Totally did all those moves.

The last couple of days I've been feeling semi-aggressive and irritable.

It's a problem.

But I may have found a solution.

Now I may want to eat healthier simultaneously.

I have a feeling that things like this

aren't necessarily going to whip me into shape.

I wish I was married.

2011-01-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

So that I had more space in my apartment to cook. One day, I'll cook things like this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

But until then, I'm unfortunately stuck with this:

Twin sister is my inspiration for cooking post-marriage. One day.

addict.

2011-01-10T15:35:00.000-08:00

reading.

hardboiled/deviled eggs.

jamba juice oatmeal.

smart food white cheddar popcorn.

my babez.

education.

2011-01-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

I miss school. Every measly inconvenient thing about it.

I want to go back so badly that it sometimes hurts.

I haven't been back to school in about 3 years.

I should be graduated by now.

But no.

I'm not.

My twin sister, Marci, is my absolute role model. Growing up, I basically did the majority of her assignments. She's doesn't pick things up as quickly as I do, but she's so much more determined than I am, and she's changed a lot since high school. She's married and she's still 100% dedicated to finishing school and getting a nursing degree. She never quits. She's taken multiple classes several times, and the more she takes the class, the more determined she is to do better. I'm not naturally like that. Once I suck at something, I give up. That's what happened when I was enrolled in school.

I've tricked myself into thinking that I'm in a field of study that doesn't require schooling. But that's just plain silly. Everyone requires schooling. Being out of school for so long literally makes me feel like my brain is leaking knowledge. I've been reading a lot lately because there's not much else to do at my job, and I remember every time I pick up my book, that I adore English. If I could go back to school just to take English oriented classes, I would.

It's because of this epiphany, that I decided that I'm going to get back into school. After I pay off all the debt on my teeth. (lots-o-root canals.) I'm hoping that A: my tax cut's a big one. and B: that when and if I get married, I'll be able to get a pell grant.

Wish me luck in my endeavor.

I'm alive!

2011-01-09T20:04:00.000-08:00

I am so grateful for my opportunity to live. The last 24 hours, I've been getting over a bit of a stomach ache, and last night I felt like I was dying because I almost passed out due to the pain and dehydration. Anyways, my point to all this is that on my date the other night, Brandon took me to see 127 hours. Seriously one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. I haven't cried tears of happiness in a movie in a very long time and this was definitely an emotionally draining movie. It's pretty graphic and a little hard to stomach at times, but it made me feel so lucky that I've never been put through any trials like that of Aron Ralston's.

If you don't know the story of 127 hours, it's a true story about a guy from Colorado who goes to Utah to climb and doesn't tell anyone where he's going. He falls into a small canyon and his hand gets jammed under a boulder making it impossible for escape. 5 days into being trapped, Aron cuts his own arm off and escapes and then proceeds to walk 8 miles. It's an incredibly beautiful story and I recommend that anyone and everyone see it.

good day.

2011-01-07T10:55:00.000-08:00

I'm at my job. writing on my blog. how cool is that? first job ever that that's been an option. today is a good day. I got a great sleep last night. I'm feeling good about life and I love my job. AND it's the weekend. Tonight Brandon is taking me out on a surprise date, and I am excited.

So enough about my day. I've been waiting for lightyears to get my music off of B's computer and I still have yet to do it. so instead I've depended upon old albums I have on my mac and newer albums as well. therefore, I am going to share with you my latest musical obsessions. presenting:

My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Favorite Track - S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Kanye West - My Dark Twisted Fantasy

Favorite Track - Monster

The Garden State Soundtrack

Against Me! - New Wave

Favorite Track - Thrash Unreal

Freelance Whales - Weathervanes

Favorite Track - Kilojoules

Ah yes. And my current movie obsession would be...

This movie had a lot of graphic scenes and it was a bit more on the explicit side, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was beautifully done, and the music was incredible. It was very psychologically disturbing, which is a big part in why I enjoyed it, but I thought it was an incredible movie and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys psychological thrillers.

Well, blog viewers (the few of you that there are), back to work it is. I shall post about my date night when I get a chance. Even if it's not very exciting. until next time! over and out.

two thousand eleven.

2011-01-05T20:27:00.001-08:00

please year, be kind to me.

hello again, blog. I have yet to completely forsaken you, even though at times (in this case, the last 6 months) I totally neglect you.

i'm back again. i want it to be for reals this time.

lately i've read lots of blogs about last year's events. i truly wish i could do that. but i'll just get it out right now. i have the worst memory in the world. i've yet to be diagnosed with a proper disorder by an actual doctor. but it's the sad, bitter, and inescapable truth.

but blessed be, there is a temporary cure. and that also happens to be my new years resolution. that is to frequently write about my day. it doesn't matter where. a notebook. a word document. my blog. a scratch piece of paper. a text. just somewhere that i can look back and say, "this happened right before that because so-and-so wasn't even there at such and such a time." do you see what i mean? that's my first new years res. my second is to compile a full-on list of my new years resolutions.

forgetfulness aside, there were several things that happened last year, more specifically towards the end of the year, that changed a lot about me. a lot about the way i think, feel, and act. in all honesty, they weren't the best experiences going through them. some were a tad bit regretful. i lost something. someone. i lost my doubts about my future. and with that loss of someone, I lost my fear of making my own decisions and my mental block that was hiding away my confidence and acceptance of finally being content with being alone and independent.

i'm not quite as happy as i'd like to be. but for the first time in a long while, i feel hopeful. things are going to change. thank you, 2011, for this marvelous opportunity. bring goodness.

life!

2010-06-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! Life! That's really all I have to say. So much has been going on lately! And I am so behind on posting. Let me begin by just saying that I absolutely love summer. Because really, as chaotic and stressful as life has been lately, I can never truly be sad or depressed when it's blue skies and 80 degrees. That's just not human. So thank you, weather man! For giving me gorgeous weather at such a crazy time in my life!

So I suppose I'll start by posting about the events that

are the most impressive on my life, and work m

y way back. Starting with my car. (does it feel like that's always the first thing to come up?... maybe because it is..) Well, anyway. I got in a car accident about a week ago, on my return voyage from pre-ordering my iphone 4. (don't worry, iphone 4! you'll be worth it!) The nitty gritty details aren't super necessary, so I'll spare you those. However, it was my fault unfortunately and my poor lexus was totaled. I thought baby had seen her last days, but my father decided to fix her to where she's drivable and then sell her as soon as she's all clean, detailed and about as good as she can be. (which isn't saying much.) Anyways, now I'll be returning my rental car, to replace it with another rental car, until my baby is done. sad times.

In other news, my grandma is moving to Utah! WOOH

OO! I love my grandma oh so dearly. and she has done so much for me in my life, that I don't think I could ever come close to repaying her for her immense kindness and selflessness. it will be nice to be able to visit her whenever I want. I will, however, miss Santa Cruz. My favorite vacation spot above all. But I think all will be right in the world once my grandma moves here, so It's a sacrifice I can accept. I love you, grandma :)

This brings me to my next topic.... Jeremy and Sarah are ENGAGED! about darn time! I am so so excited for these two. I love my brother already, but I literally could not ask for a better sister-in-law, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't exist. Sarah and I have become really good friends in the last couple years, and it will be so wonderful having her as part of the family. I'm also glad Jer found someone to put up with his ridiculous sense of humor! Jeremy and Sarah will be married August 21st. (which kinda stinks, cause b will be in california during that time), but I couldn't be more excited. I love you, brother. I'm so excited for you guys!

Well, everything else in my life isn't all too exciting. Working hard at Pinnacle, and constantly bracing myself for the next wave up layoffs. It's pretty scary, but I have hope that if it does, in fact, happen to me, I'll be ready for it and find another job. I'll be okay. I have my photography, too. Which is always pretty reassuring.

As far as photography goes, I've actually been fairly busy. I did a wedding a couple weeks ago, and am almost done editing the pictures! Then a couple days ago I took Jaycee LeClaire's engagement pictures. Jaycee's one of my dearest friends from home (washington) and, funny story, I actually know her fiancee, too. Back in the Raintree days, when Afton was dating Chris Roper, a kid from Kamas, UT. Chris lived with a few of his really close friends from Kamas, and Bill was one of them. Who, incidentally, happens to be Jaycee's fiancee. It's a very cute love story that I don't have time to post on here, but maybe I will on my photography blog when I post the engagements pictures. :) The exciting thing is that I get to go home to Washington in August (14th, to be exact) to shoot her wedding. I'm very excited.

Also, Jon Bell, (who I'm sure you've heard of in previous posts) and as a brief overview, we've been close friends since about 5 or so years ago when my grandma set me up on a blind date when I visited Santa Cruz, and we hit it off. We've been good friends ever since. Anyway, JB is engaged now, too! So I'll be taking their engagements as well pretty soon here. :) Unfortunately his wedding takes place the same day as Jaycee's, but Im still excited to help out as much as I can.

Well, I think that's about it for photography. I'm super excited for the continuous developments that come with such a fun job. I truly love it and am so grateful for the opportunities I've been given.

As for summer vacations, (because I promised myself I would go on some this year), I'll be going to Colorado next week to shoot Jer's engagements and play with my 6 adorable nephews. And also, will be going to Washington in August for Jaycee's wedding. We'll see if I go on any more, because it seems pretty lame that B won't be able to come to either. :(

WELL! That's life. In a massive, massive nutshell. Sorry for the strenuously long post. Promise it won't be this long again. And thankyouthankyouthankyou for reading.

Blogger world.

2010-05-05T13:26:00.001-07:00

I'm so sorry I disappeared again! So so sorry.

Life has been so crazy lately, and Im just barely starting to catch up.

First, I'd like to start by saying that I absolutely love my job at Pinnacle. It's so much fun. The people are great and I really enjoy talking on the phones. I'm super happy with it, and I really hope they decide to keep me on for the fall. But we shall see with that one.

Also, I went to Colorado last weekend, and it was so much fun. It wasn't too action packed or crazy or anything, it was just fun. I took family pictures of my brother's family, of whom I was visiting, and they turned out awesome. You can check them out on my facebook page or shortly on my blog as well. I also took my 9 year old nephew on a school field trip, so that was fun. It was basically just a nice little getaway from Utah and the stresses of it all. It was nice.

I'm also planning on visiting my Grandma in Santa Cruz really soon. I wanted to visit Reno with my best friend, Rachel, but it all just depends on when is most convenient for visiting my Grandma. But I'm crossing my fingers that I can fit both of them in there.

Anyway, I just moved into a new apartment. It's called Winterhaven and its in Orem. Literally 7 minutes from my work, so that's convenient. I only pay 230 for a massive private room, so that's really nice. I like it a lot. Currently it's just me and my other roommate, Rachel. She's an interesting character, to say the least... She has some disorders and definitely some interesting characteristics, but I'm learning to adjust. I guess it'll be good for me, but she can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. But she's really nice, so that's a plus, and definitely something I can't say for some of my past roommates. She also happens to be my second cousin! Small world?

As far as photography goes, I don't have too much to say. I've been so focused on work, that it's difficult to add any additional focus to photography, but I'm managing. If you know of anyone getting married, having a baby, needs family pictures, or just wants portraits done, please please pleeease let me know. :)

Well, that's all the news I have for today! I'll continue to keep you posted on life.

Music.

2010-04-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

I know I'm on posting overload, but I'm having music nostalgia like there's no tomorrow.

I'm listening to old Thrice, and it brings back such a rush of memories, I can't even contain it. So I'm sharing it with you.

Here are some songs that remind me of a certain time period, with a certain individual. That time period being the year that I was in a noncommittal relationship. And that individual being the love of my life.

It does bring back some pretty intense feelings, though. Anyways. I uploaded them all onto my playlist, so have a listen if you wish.

New pet peeve.

2010-04-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

It's not really new. Just newfound. And it's also a really really stupid thing to be annoyed by.

but. I hate when people go off about how much they hate twilight/edward/bella/jacob, what have you, when they have not even read the books!

let's get real, here. We all know you just don't like it solely because of how mainstream and popular it is. I, myself, often am afraid of admitting it simply because I don't want to become stereotyped as one of those people. But if I like something, I'm going to like it. Very few people are aware of my love for twilight and my obsession with Edward. Well, I guess it's not so much a secret anymore. It's not something I prefer to shout across the rooftops like some illiterate 10 year old girl who has memorized the movie script. However, I don't mind having a love for something that is clearly and incredibly romantic novel.

Now, I understand if you have read the actual book and decided that it was just not your cup of tea writing style or story, but at least give it a chance before you shoot it down and protest it.

Just for the record, just because I love the book, does not mean I love the movie. The movie is definitely entertaining, but it no where near captures the passion or intensity that the book expresses. I also happen to be a very easily entertained individual and a movie like "Snow Buddies" can hold my interest for an extended period of time.

Anyways, that's my rant for today. Hope everyone's having a good one. :)

Engagement Season

2010-04-11T00:16:00.001-07:00

Apparently it's arrived?? Good news for me! I've been getting some bites here and there for engagements and weddings. I'm pretty excited about it.

Also, I finally hit the 100 mark on my fan page! exciting, right? If you haven't done so already, pleasepleaseplease become a fan here!

Oh, AND I finally created a website. Well - blog, more like. But it's getting there. :) If you're a follower of my blog, please also follow me on that one! I'd really love the support. You can find that website here.

I'm pretty excited about it. And my new logo. :D Which was designed by myself! It's nothing too fancy, but I think I like it much better than its predecessor. Anyway, I'm on the verge of working out something regarding a legitimate flash website with the help of my wonderful friends Michelle & William Atkinson. Hopefully it works out. If not, I'll stick with my makeshift blog site. Which I don't think is TOO bad.

On a more personal note, tonight I saw "How to Train Your Dragon." Excellent movie. I would highly recommend it. Also, I start my job at Pinnacle on Tuesday. I'm pretty excited about it. And I'm also really excited to be done working at the portrait studio. At Pinnacle, I'll be working virtually all day Tuesday-Saturday. I'm thinking I might try to get a permanent Wednesday or Thursday off as well so that I have more leeway as far as photo sessions go.

Well, that's life up to date! Hope all is right with the rest of you.

Slow it down, now.

2010-04-07T21:10:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I can't believe I almost have 100 fans on my fan page! It means so much to me to have so much support. :) It really is awesome. I'm really excited about what the future has in store for me. It's scary, but just so thrilling.

I have another wedding now scheduled for June 11th. I'm pretty excited. I'm hoping that in the time between, I'll be able to get a sigma lens, and get through my photography course. And also, possibly shadow a wedding photographer just to get a good idea about what to do. It'll be a great experience for me, as every single day is.

Also! I got a full time job, finally! I'm working with my best friend (also known as my twin sister) at Pinnacle Security. I'm not a huge fan of security companies to start with, as they have some pretty sketchy and bad reputations, but I will be working in Account Creations. My job is to basically set up accounts, but also, helping the company from being a fraudulent company, and catching any sleazy sales representatives. So, I really don't mind all that much. I started training on monday (the wrong one, I might add. But they let me in anyway) and I really love the people I work with. It's a really great, fun company. Very laid back, but with distinct guidelines as well. I like it a lot, and hopefully I continue liking it a lot. It will be nice to have a consistent income for once.

Well, that's all the news I have for now. :) thanks again, for all the love!

A work in progress.

2010-03-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

So, it's getting there.

I currently have 28 fans on my fan page. So that's pretty neat, I guess. Super excited to see what I can do once I:

- get a webpage up and running &

- set up my rates

- figure out printing, etc.

- get an AMAZING new camera lens, and preferably camera + any extra little doodads.

- straighten out any other kinks.

It's definitely a work in progress, and I'll hopefully be getting to where I want to be moderately soon. Super excited to shoot Dallas and Andrew's wedding this Friday. Pictures will be posted hopefully soon after. Anyway, if anyone happens to have advice regarding aaaanyyyything, please, do tell. Especially regarding prices. Thanks a ton for your support!

You make my dreams come true.

2010-03-25T12:56:00.000-07:00

So right now, I am completely obsessed with this song. and also, this dance excerpt from 500 Days of Summer. If you have not seen it yet, stop reading right this instant and go watch it. Because it's one of my new favorites. Anyway. This scene just brings joy to my heart! So I thought I should share.

Also! I launched a fan page on facebook for my photography! I'm pretty excited about it. So check it out, and if you haven't become a fan already, please do now. Here's the link: Clickety click click I truly appreciate any support given :) Thanks!

Lovely Lily.

2010-03-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been getting into my photography a ton. I just took some newborn shots of my adorable niece, Lily. I also have some pitchas from my trip to vegas last weekend, and then some playtime shots with mi hermana. I'll hopefully post those over time, if not, I suck. And I'm sorry. Anyway, here's the best I can do for right now. Here are some of my favorite shots from Lily's shoot. I'm excited to get this whole photography thang up and running!

Pictures of you.

2010-03-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

So as of late, I have been extremely photographically inactive. I blame it on the fact that I'm busy with a job that gives me 8 hours a week, or a boyfriend I see maybe once a week, but in all reality, it's come down to not having any confidence. I get so discouraged when I see photographers who might not even be so much better a photography, more just happen to have the money for better equipment, producing very high quality images.

Let's just be honest here. My camera's a whimp, if I've ever seen one. It is moderately low resolution and it just doesn't compete with today's technology. It's discouraging. I love photography so so much, but when I go to sites like Rebekah Westover's, it gets a little bewildering. I just want a better camera. Or even, a better lens. I'd like to think I have talent tucked away somewhere in there. And making up what my camera lacks in photoshop, is always fun, but I'd like to accentuate the capabilities my camera has. Not make up for them. Silly camera.

When I get discouraged, I look back at some of my work that I've posted on my flickr and I get hopeful again. Here are some of my personal favorites. I feel a little bit better now.

So who wants to buy me a new lens and/or camera? :)

Picture of the day.

2010-03-05T19:42:00.001-08:00

She rocks my world pretty hard sometimes.

I just love her.

2010-03-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

So my twin sister and I have a somewhat bipolar relationship. We're either hugging and laughing, or yelling and rolling our eyes. But I have legitimate evidence of a time caught on video of Marci and I actually having a good day. Trust me, it's pretty rare. But now, when we are fighting, I can look back and maybe, just maybe, this will change my mood. Because I'm pretty sure I laugh hysterically every time I watch it. You might not think it's funny, but I do. So I'm posting it. The end.

So this is what happens when you have karaoke on youtube + a sugar rush + twins + attempted harmony with a sister (who will remain unnamed) that can't seem to stay on the proper note.

Annoyingly enough, you'll have to click a link to get to it, since it's too big to fit on my page. boo.

Just out of curiosity...

2010-02-28T22:11:00.001-08:00

Who actually reads my blog anymore?

Besides you, Marci. :)

Turn it up.

2010-02-25T12:37:00.001-08:00

Such. A. Bummer.

So, a couple of months ago my FM transmitter broke. Definitely one of the sadder days of my life. I didn't realize, until that day, how attached I was to that little devise. I've come to realize also, that there really isn't much point to having an 80g iPod either, when you have no place to listen to it. Back in Alaska, when I would walk to work, I used to tow that thing along with me for the 30 minute - hour walk I took each day. Especially on the sunny days. I felt like Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain, when he's just dancing along the street. I'm sure the tourists that were packed into the sidewalks thought I was crazy, but the best part of working in Alaska was that I had the comfort of knowing I would never see those people ever again. So like it even mattered if I did a little happy dance on the way to work each day.

When I got back to Utah, the idea that I would finally be able to blast my music in my car again was just plain thrilling. So I was able to for awhile. Got caught up with all new music (new Brand New, new Muse, New Moon Soundtrack, you know, all the must-haves), and blasted it on my daily commute.

Then, tragedy occurred. And with the death of my transmitter, comes practical death of new music. Aside from the fact that I am now an x96 guru, so I can occasionally catch some new tunes on there, and also, having a best friend who is still very much "in the know" of music (thank you, Kali), I'm practically dead to the music world. I really hope I can afford a new FM transmitter soon. Because I am oh so lost without you.

That being said, I also want to give a shout out to my Baby. Oh, Lexus ES250, you have made it so far without a breakdown. I am just so proud of you. And also, I hope that in saying this, I'm not jinxing anything so that when I go out to my car in 10 minutes, the engine doesn't suddenly shut down. Thanks for being such a dysfunctionally good college student car, and please, oh, please, at least last me a couple more years. Thanks!

Sun, sun, sun.

2010-02-17T10:43:00.000-08:00

I. miss. Summer.

Like, really.

I am soooo ready for this winter to be over. I have not seen the sun in far too long, and I'm just ready for it. I blame Alaska for this. There was one week in Alaska that it got

up to 90 degrees, so I really don't have that much right to whine, but really? 1 week? come on.

Judging by the picture below, can you even tell it's 80 degrees outside? no. You can't. Why? Because it's ALASKA. So, onto my next point.

I miss UTAH summers.

Going swimming? You bet we were.

I miss having a killer tan! And the way my eyes are a billion times greener in the sun! Or Jeremy making really cool faces....Okay, so this is in California, but you get my point.

Rolling in the grass, laughing, and having absolutely no cares in the world.

So looking through my facebook pictures has made me realize I need to be a little bit better at taking pictures of the summer time. All the more reason for summer to get here FASTER!

It's been almost two years since I've been swimming. sun bathing. slip n' sliding. driving in my car blasting my summer soundtracks (old-old All American Rejects, Alphabeat, Mates of State, Noah & The Whale...and on and on and on..) with the windows down, had a picnic, worn a tank top or sun dress (for longer than a week, anyway).

I want summer. Is that so much to ask for??

All we are, we are.

2010-02-15T11:22:00.000-08:00

This past month has been one of the hardest months of my life. I'm trying so hard to get myself out of the rut I'm in, and nothing good is seeming to come of it. I'm extremely scared of the future and what's in store for me if I don't fix things.

I'm working an extremely part time job that gives me a maximum of 10 hours a week. Leaving me with a $50-100 paycheck. My rent is $345.00 and my cell phone bill averages about $100.00. It doesn't take a mathematician to see that I'm not exactly making end's meet. I'm scared to death, and honestly without the help of Brandon, I would be completely lost and more than likely, homeless. I've been trying non-stop to find a job. Applying to at least 10-20 jobs a day anywhere between Provo and Salt Lake. Nothing is happening, and I really have no idea what to do anymore. I plan on selling my brand new MacBook Pro, in hopes that it will hold me over until April. I'm not really sure what I'll do after that, but it seems to be the most viable option.

Anyway. As a nice little add-on, a series of unfortunate events led up to a very unfortunate loss. A few weeks ago, I sliced my big toenail almost in half, half way down the nail. I researched online for any quick fixes, and I found some suggestions to use super glue. I didn't really think about the necessity to sanitize, therefore sealing in all that yucky bacteria, and well, two weeks later I'm on the operating table in urgent care having my toenail removed. Needless to say, it was definitely one of the most unpleasant experiences I've ever been through. I've found that I don't really enjoy having two needles poked all the way through my toe through 4 different nerves, or the shot through the bottom of my toe...orrr the tiny little shots that went all over my toe thereafter.

In all honesty, having my toenail removed generally wouldn't discourage me very much, aside from having to wait 6 months - 1 year for my nail to completely heal. But I guess what's most discouraging is that it's holding me back from just getting myself out there and handing my resume out to any businesses that will accept it. I'm just SO discouraged. About life, about my future, about my finances. I want to just get married so badly and to just go back to school, and to sell my car for a more functional one. But all of that is at a complete standstill until I have a steady income, and it's all around just plain frustrating.

I don't mean to vent about how terrible life is, because in all reality, it's not terrible at all. Right now, my car is driving okay. Which is more than I could ask for. I have a family that supports me, and gives me hope. I have a best friend who is there for me whenever I need her, to change my yucky bandages and hold my hand through the toughest of situations, and last of all, I have a boyfriend who supports me and makes me feel like even at the darkest of times, there is hope for me, and there is hope in our future. I'm grateful for life, and I'm grateful for the trials I have, because I know that once I'm out of it, I will do everything in my power to not find myself in this position again.

Reminiscent.

2010-01-11T15:21:00.001-08:00

Lately I've been feeling extremely nostalgic. I'm generally a huge supporter of nostalgia, but usually it's only a fleeting feeling that doesn't last very long. I've been thinking so much about the past lately that it's making me sad. and it just makes me miss things so much more than is normal.

I miss Kali.

I miss making music videos, taking pictures, and sleeping (the little sleeping that we did do...) in her dorm

I miss having stupid myspace photo shoots in her dorm, too.

I miss "K5L2MDA" and our mixed energy drinks/hot tubbing

I miss doing stupid things. everywhere we went.

I miss Halloween.

I just miss Kali.

You know, it really sucks that the saying "you never know what you got til' it's gone" is actually very true. Through unfortunate events and a little bit of negligence, things just kind of ended. I guess that's how it is with a lot of things in life. As much as I know things will never be the same, it's good to know that we will always remain good friends. Because Kali Harris is a pretty amazing person, that I don't think I could live without.

I guess going further back, to the cause of all of this nostalgia, it leads me to a dream I had the other night. That I had moved back into my home in Washington. It was such a realistic dream and it made me incredibly homesick. My parents moved from Camas about 2 years ago, and lately I've been realizing how difficult it is for me to know that I no longer have a permanent place. I don't have the stability of knowing that no matter what, I have somewhere to stay. When my parents moved away, I never really got the closure I needed, and because of that, it's still hard letting Washington go. I've also lost almost all of my close bonds there. Camille's family moved to Utah, and now I've lost close contact with my two best friend, Afton and Stevie. Hence, nostalgia. I ran across a bunch of pictures I had in my photobucket. So I thought I'd post some of them.

I miss being apart of "Kaution Krew." haha.

Taylor and Camille. Weird.

I miss Afton. and I miss us being inseparable.

I miss the way I used to look. Look how long my hair was! Ugh.

Sometimes it's nice to look back at changes a person has made. It kind of puts life into perspective. For instance, I now know what to do to prevent loss from happening again. And I guess without these changes, I also may not have found love, which is something I wouldn't take back for the whole world. But now it's time to move on. For the times, they are a-changin'.

An even newer chapter.

2010-01-06T22:29:00.000-08:00

Yes! I'm alive. It's true, it's true. It's been quite awhile since my last post, so I won't be too surprised if I have no more followers. I think I'll survive though. The only real reason I am starting this whole thang up again is solely because I made a New Years resolution to do so, and since I'm not doing too well on my other resolutions, well, here I am! So since I was basically dead in the year of two thousand and nine, I'll share some brief highlights.

Juneau, Alaska. That pretty much sums up my summer. Which pretty much sums up my year! Since the rest of it was spent either with mi amore, or job hunting. But I'll still post some other highlights, because as much as I want to say I had an uneventful year, It was actually pretty darn eventful.

B! My number one highlight. :)

And then of course, within Alaska, there were multiple highlights...and uhm...lowlights.

Highlights:

Whale Watching

Bears hangin' out in my front yard

The Salmon Bake

And extremely rare sunny days, which were then counteracted by extremely frequent....

Rainy days... :(

Aside from the rain, the lack of transportation and consistent grocery shopping were the main reasons I was more than ready to come back to good ol' Utah. That and another pretty significant thing...

Mi Familia :)

All in all, Alaska was a good experience. And 2009 was a fairly good year. But I have a pretty good feeling that 2010 is gonna sweep the floor. And I'm gonna do everything in my power to make it so.

Hypocrite.

2009-01-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

World,

As of late, I've posted about life, chaos, family, friends, future plans, etc. And I must say, it's just not the sort of thing I love to do. I feel no passion when I casually post without thought about the chaos that life has brought and continues to bring. Not only that, but it brings so much peace to mind when I am able to express my passion, desire and love for things that create a sense of happiness and joy in this crazy world I live in.

As of late, for some odd reason, I have been able to find a sense of safety and security. My grandma always says "Kelli, there is no reason to have stress because of the situation you're in." And it's true. There is never any reason to stress. Because in all honesty, what does it solve? I have always been a major stress case when a slight sign of trouble occurs. Ex: My debit card is declined at a gas station. I start hyperventilating with thoughts like "Oh no, what am I going to do? That must mean that I don't have enough money in my account. Which also means that I'm going to get an $18 overdraft fee. I cannot have that! I swore I had enough money in there." So, I go to the cashier and what's the first thing they say? "Oh, our credit card machine is down. Sorry about that, we can just run your transaction up here." Ha. Point made. What is the point in getting yourself stressed out over something when the conclusion has not even been drawn? I literally start crying when my keys have been misplaced for 10 minutes. Brandon, on the other hand, can have his wallet gone for 2 days and be perfectly fine and calm about it as he occasionally looks around for it, and Lo and Behold, finds it.

Which brings me to the point that Americans (and I say this solely because I have no experience with other cultures) are selfish. Maybe it's just people in general. But we complain far too much. Not about other people, not about poverty or how the homeless rate in America is way worse than we ever fathomed, but about ourselves. I find that ridiculous. And in saying this, I am subjecting myself to an unbearable amount of hypocrisy, but it is so true. I, myself, have a ton to fix... obviously. I just wanted to make a bold statement regarding the human race and its lack of selflessness.

It's true, the economy is failing. People are losing jobs, and people are having trouble finding jobs. I, myself, am a victim of this. We all knew it was going to happen, and we all should have been prepared. Yet again, subjection to hypocrisy. I will say this again, we have no. reason. to. complain. All will work out in the end. I am a firm believer of that. I have been in a bad financial spot more times in my life than I can count. And judging by the times I have stressed myself out, and not so much stressed myself out, that the times I haven't not only make me feel better, but for some odd reason things work out a lot better. I believe that's a little something called faith. So why not instead of stressing ourselves out, just have faith. I say this to me just as much as I say this to you. It's the way the world works, and it's the way it was intended to be. And that is all I have to say regarding this topic.

I don't have too many updates regarding my life, however. But when I do, I'll most likely just make a video blog. Ever since my Mac, I've had a fancy for iMovie. So perhaps you'll get lucky enough to see my bright and shining face on here. :)

Happy love month, everyone.

Kelli Renee

I'm back!

2009-01-12T23:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay.

I know, I was gone for way too long. And I'm sorry to have neglected you faithful blog readers! These last two months have been fairly crazy and chaotic. And slowly, but surely, my life is coming back together, I think.

Wow! Soo...what to start with? I don't even know. Let's see...Well...The holidays were pretty crazy. I had a job working at the Flirty Aprons kiosk for awhile there, and sadly lost that job for some pretty ridiculous reasons right after the holidays. Actually...I was let go on New Years Eve's day...which didn't exactly start my new year off too good. But uh... Christmas and New Years were pretty stressful this year. I was working more than full time, running the kiosk with just one other person, which not only gave me no time to spend shopping and preparing for Christmas, but also gave me no time to soak up the Christmas season in any way. As far as I'm concerned, the Christmas season only lasted one day for me...and if you know me, that is DEF. not enough Christmas spirit for one person. So all in all, it was a pretty big let down.

New Years was actually pretty fun. I mean, it had the potential of being amazing, but it wasn't exactly that. Jeremy, Sarah, another couple, Brandon and I drove down to Vegas together. Now, that probably sounds like LOADS of fun...but I almost feel like it was anything but that. the 2 other girls that came were both under 21, which meant that they could hardly stand in the casino's for 10 minutes without getting kicked out. That was obviously no fun for Brandon or myself, because we were perfectly fine with spending new years in the fancy casinos and hotels. Not only that, buttt, right when we got the hotel after our long road trip, I received a bladder infection. Perfect! It was miserable. Brandon, being the amazing boyfriend he is, spent all day at Urgent Care and the pharmacy with me to make my situation a little more bearable. So, basically, the body crushing crowd that we got stuck in on The Strip wasn't the most exciting thing to face. However, I did get a pretty amazing New Years kiss, which is what I've been waiting for ever since I knew what kissing meant. :) I won't say it was a terrible trip. I mean, the trip, in all fairness, was actually pretty cool on the optimistic side. We saw the Blue Man Group, got to see The Strip on New Years, and I got my first New Years kiss. So I can't really complain too much :)

Anyway! On a more exciting note, I finally bought my way into the world of Apple! I finally purchased that black macbook I've been eyeing since it came out. :) And boyyy, do I love it. Not only that, but it's been perfect for my photo editing and media needs. It's the greatest :) And also, I made a vow to do A TON of more photo shoots. I need to get myself out there, need new models and scenes! SO, anyyyone interested in a fun photo shoot? tooootally text me. And if you don't have my numero, write me on facebook.

Now, for the future, IIIII need a job. :( Once again. A job that can hold me over for 3 months. Because after 3 months, Thee love o' my life and myself are headed to Alaska to work for tour guide companies! It's going to be so fun! And it probably sounds totally random and like me, but I think it's going to be a really good opportunity for me. It's about 9 an hour, but thats constant overtime due to the fact that I'll live there. And the cool part is that I'll be living in a dorm that covers food and living for 16 a day. So I'll be making about 1,200 miiiinimum with food and living taken out. Which I think is pretty good money. And it will mostly just be good for me to set myself up with a stable job and schedule surrounded by good people, since most people recruited are from Utah. It will also be nice to get out of Utah, and with the 20 hours of daylight, I expect to get some reeeally cool pictures.

Well, I think that's pretty much all the exciting news I have for now. Other than the simple fact that though I've been going through some pretty tough trials lately, Brandon has been really really good to me. And it's made me realize that he will probably do just about anything for me. Which could have partly something to do with the fact that he is equally and possibly a bigger hopeless romantic than I, myself am...Which is definitely something I needed in the person I would end up with. :) Sorry to get all mushy and gushy on ya, but I felt like I should throw it out there since I don't really praise him enough.

But yes, such is life and the crazy way that it works. I promise I'll be much more consistent with my blogging habits! I won't turn into a Lindsay LeBaron and create a blog only to neglect it for almost a year. :) haha. Well, I love all of you!

Kelli Renee LeBaron

The Reason I Don't Post Often.

2008-11-18T01:24:00.000-08:00

I never. get comments.

Shout out to Annie for taking the time to read. Thank you! :D

However, I've decided to temporarily set aside my bitterness and post a little bit of updates.

So I quit the movie theatre, thank GOODness. And I just got hired on today as part of the Victoria's Secret team! So, that's pretty exciting, I think. Wow...And now posting this, I realize there's not a whole lot exciting going on in my life. My day mainly consists of Flirty Aprons, now Victoria's Secret and Brandon. And then occasionally Kali or Camille and my roommates.

But no matter how boring it sounds, life has been fantastic as of late. I'm just so happy with how life is going! And I couldn't be happier spending all my time with Brandon, even if it means sitting on blogger while he watches TV or plays video games. I guess I just really enjoy spending time with him :)

Hummm...other than that, I'm super excited for Thanksgiving! Even if it's still pretty iffy as to where I'm eating...I just love the holidays! And I guess the best and most promising part is that I'll get pretty good commission. haha.

Oh OH. And I'm dying my hair back to brown! It was nice having it blonde for awhile, but I think I'm just meant to be a brunette. Not only that, but once it grows out, I can let it grow out at least 2 inches before dying it again, let alone less than an inch.

Well...this blog has been rather scattered, I just felt the need to share.

OH and ALSO. If anyone thinks Marci LeBaron Watson should begin blogging as well, I'm starting a petition on my comment wall so that she can stop avoiding the trend for all married women and finally just succumb to it.

kthanks. Hope everyone is having a great night!

"Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of November"

2008-11-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

Remember remember the fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...

YEAH! Happy Guy Fawks Day! Goodness, today has been a very celebratory day, in my opinion.

Today, I got another job! Yeah woo! I start on Saturday, and it's this adorable kiosk in the mall called Flirty Aprons. Pay is 6.55 + commission, and though I have had terrible luck with commission in the past, I'm hoping it will be good what with the holiday season coming up! And until I get another night job, I shall just keep the theater job (BLEH). Anyways. Very cute. You should visit their site! Click!

Also, Obama is now president! Muy Fantastico! Yes, yes, I am an Obama supporter. Hate not. But I think he'll do well for our country, and uhhh duh. He's our new president. So you're simply just going to have to adjust. It's pretty fun having a HARDCORE Republican in the house though. It mixes things up a bit. Fortunately, I'm apathetic enough about politics (as well as mildly clueless) that I don't care to discuss it. Anyway. Yay, Obama!

ALSO. It SNOWED today. Best day ever! I love snow :) It makes me all happy inside.

So point in case. November 5th = The best day ever!

Anyway, for those of you who are celebrating any of the above events, I highly suggest you end the day with a nice viewing of V for Vendetta. Edited, if you prefer. In honor of the wonderful Guy Fawks/Presidential Election/Snow. (Neither of the latter relate, but it's still a good celebratory movie.)

I hope everyone enjoys this day as much as I am!

.K

Yeah for Halloween!

2008-11-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

So, Halloween turned out being an extremely enjoyable night. It was so much fun!! Jeremy and Sarah came over to my house, and the four of us got all Zombified. It was so very much fun. And I've posted some pictures of it below! After we got all dressed up, we went to the Haunted Forest & Psycho Manor in American Fork. It was SOO fun! Even thought I did push Brandon down to the ground and jumped over him in the claustrophobia room where you have to squeeze your way out, out of pure panic. It was scary! But he was a good sport. He at least stopped my shaking when I got out. Haha. He was also pretty entertaining to watch with the chainsaw guys. He can deny it a thousand times, but Jeremy, Sarah and I can attest that he hardcore screamed like a girl. haha.

Anyway, after we did that, we just came back, got all cleaned up and cuddled to The Happening. All in all, it was a really fun night :)

Goodness, I love halloween!

Desperation.

2008-10-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

It's true. In my desperate attempts to find a job, I am now employed in a High School job.

I work. In. a. movie. theatre.

If I feel like my life sucks now, just think of how I'm going to feel after Saturday.
In all honesty, I was really excited about this job at first. I really did want it.

However, cleaning aisles, vomit, feces, and selling popcorn whilst making desperate attempts to upsale the customer for SIX dollars and FIFTY-FIVE cents and Hour, definitely does not sound like the ideal job. Not only that, but I also have to purchase a 30 dollar uniform. Seriously? Ugh. And although I came into this thinking that it will only be a temporary thing, A: I don't know HOW long my germophobia is going to hold out on me with the nasty things I may very well run into, and B: The economy doesn't seem very willing to just give me a break and hire me onto a good job...like babysitting for two adorable children. (I've not yet met them, that's just what the ad said...)

Oh OH. And another pessimistic factor, they're moving a brand new Cinemark Theater within 3 miles, and so they get 55% of the movies, while we only get 45%. Not only does that mean we don't get good movies, thus bad business, but the even worse thing is that IIII don't get to see those movies for FREE! What is this world coming to??

Anyways. I doubt this rant of negativity towards movie theaters is going anywhere good. I should be grateful I have a job. Sigh. Bleh. Ugh. And I suppose I will try. But I figured I would let you know so that you could feel sorry for me and stuff. Anyways! Life will get better, I assure you.

Besides, Tomorrow's HALLOWEEN!! ...and I need a costume. Hmm. But I hope everyone has a good one! Goodnight!

Kelli

Day 1,923,482 of the Job Hunt.

2008-10-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

Ahhh yes. Job hunting. Possibly one of THEE best past times one will ever experience. You get to go to places you never thought you would go to, in desperate attempts to receive a paycheck. even a tiny one will suffice. Yes, all of the previous statements are 100% sarcastic. well, maybe 89%. Anyways. I am so tired of driving and driving, stopping on craigslist and provident living, and driving some more to hunt down as many career opportunities as possible. It's not so much my idea of fun. And yet, until I get a job, I'm stuck spending almost my entire day doing this.

So. Seeing as job hunting consumes my entire thoughts, and being, i figure I might as well blog about my progress...Or the lack thereof. Heh.

So, I have some opportunities that could possibly be extremely beneficial. I've applied all over the Riverwoods, and so far the only one I've received a call back from is Tucano's. I went in for an interview, and they said that all I need to do is take a test and receive a score of 95 or higher, and then I can get started on training. Unfortunately, the test I've heard is pretty hard. But I guess I just have to work super hard at studying.

Anyway, you'd think with the Holidays coming up, people would be hiring a lot more. Uhh, lame? Speaking of which, I'm SUPER excited for the holidays! yeah! K. Sorry for the brief side step. See! My mind's not ENTIRELY consumed by job hunting :D

Other than Tucano's, I've been emailing a woman who posted a need for a nanny on M-TH from 8-5 for a 1 year old boy and a 5 year old boy. I think that would be super fun and cool! so we'll see how that one comes about.

Also, I just barely applied for a Studio Photographer position. So I reeeally hope I hear back from them. That would be SO awesome to gain experience from! But we shall see.

Other than that, I've applied to a bunch of randoms that SHOULD call me back. And if not, I will be a very unhappy young lady. But those places include: The Wynnsong (movie theater), Victoria's Secret and....well....I can't remember the others...but there are a bunch of others that I'm spacing.

Eh, well...if the unlisteds call me back, then they can be known as important, but for now, they don't really matter, so whatevs.

ANYWHO.

I really hope that soon I can get a job, so that I can stop basing my blogs around job hunts. Because I guarantee you would much rather be sitting on Wikipedia researching something like, how Bee's produce honey or something like that. Unless you already know how...then I would ask you to post it very briefly in a comment below for my own personal knowledge.

Okie doke. Thanks for grinning and baring it through this fun little blog post. That is, if you did anyway. kthanks.

Everyone have a fabulous day!

Kelli