addict.

reading.

hardboiled/deviled eggs.

jamba juice oatmeal.

smart food white cheddar popcorn.

my babez.

education.

I miss school. Every measly inconvenient thing about it.

I want to go back so badly that it sometimes hurts.

I haven't been back to school in about 3 years.

I should be graduated by now.

But no.

I'm not.

My twin sister, Marci, is my absolute role model. Growing up, I basically did the majority of her assignments. She's doesn't pick things up as quickly as I do, but she's so much more determined than I am, and she's changed a lot since high school. She's married and she's still 100% dedicated to finishing school and getting a nursing degree. She never quits. She's taken multiple classes several times, and the more she takes the class, the more determined she is to do better. I'm not naturally like that. Once I suck at something, I give up. That's what happened when I was enrolled in school.

I've tricked myself into thinking that I'm in a field of study that doesn't require schooling. But that's just plain silly. Everyone requires schooling. Being out of school for so long literally makes me feel like my brain is leaking knowledge. I've been reading a lot lately because there's not much else to do at my job, and I remember every time I pick up my book, that I adore English. If I could go back to school just to take English oriented classes, I would.

It's because of this epiphany, that I decided that I'm going to get back into school. After I pay off all the debt on my teeth. (lots-o-root canals.) I'm hoping that A: my tax cut's a big one. and B: that when and if I get married, I'll be able to get a pell grant.

Wish me luck in my endeavor.

I'm alive!

I am so grateful for my opportunity to live. The last 24 hours, I've been getting over a bit of a stomach ache, and last night I felt like I was dying because I almost passed out due to the pain and dehydration. Anyways, my point to all this is that on my date the other night, Brandon took me to see 127 hours. Seriously one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. I haven't cried tears of happiness in a movie in a very long time and this was definitely an emotionally draining movie. It's pretty graphic and a little hard to stomach at times, but it made me feel so lucky that I've never been put through any trials like that of Aron Ralston's.

If you don't know the story of 127 hours, it's a true story about a guy from Colorado who goes to Utah to climb and doesn't tell anyone where he's going. He falls into a small canyon and his hand gets jammed under a boulder making it impossible for escape. 5 days into being trapped, Aron cuts his own arm off and escapes and then proceeds to walk 8 miles. It's an incredibly beautiful story and I recommend that anyone and everyone see it.

good day.

I'm at my job. writing on my blog. how cool is that? first job ever that that's been an option. today is a good day. I got a great sleep last night. I'm feeling good about life and I love my job. AND it's the weekend. Tonight Brandon is taking me out on a surprise date, and I am excited.

So enough about my day. I've been waiting for lightyears to get my music off of B's computer and I still have yet to do it. so instead I've depended upon old albums I have on my mac and newer albums as well. therefore, I am going to share with you my latest musical obsessions. presenting:

My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Favorite Track - S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Kanye West - My Dark Twisted Fantasy

Favorite Track - Monster

The Garden State Soundtrack

Against Me! - New Wave

Favorite Track - Thrash Unreal

Freelance Whales - Weathervanes

Favorite Track - Kilojoules

Ah yes. And my current movie obsession would be...

This movie had a lot of graphic scenes and it was a bit more on the explicit side, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was beautifully done, and the music was incredible. It was very psychologically disturbing, which is a big part in why I enjoyed it, but I thought it was an incredible movie and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys psychological thrillers.

Well, blog viewers (the few of you that there are), back to work it is. I shall post about my date night when I get a chance. Even if it's not very exciting. until next time! over and out.

two thousand eleven.

please year, be kind to me.

hello again, blog. I have yet to completely forsaken you, even though at times (in this case, the last 6 months) I totally neglect you.

i'm back again. i want it to be for reals this time.

lately i've read lots of blogs about last year's events. i truly wish i could do that. but i'll just get it out right now. i have the worst memory in the world. i've yet to be diagnosed with a proper disorder by an actual doctor. but it's the sad, bitter, and inescapable truth.

but blessed be, there is a temporary cure. and that also happens to be my new years resolution. that is to frequently write about my day. it doesn't matter where. a notebook. a word document. my blog. a scratch piece of paper. a text. just somewhere that i can look back and say, "this happened right before that because so-and-so wasn't even there at such and such a time." do you see what i mean? that's my first new years res. my second is to compile a full-on list of my new years resolutions.

forgetfulness aside, there were several things that happened last year, more specifically towards the end of the year, that changed a lot about me. a lot about the way i think, feel, and act. in all honesty, they weren't the best experiences going through them. some were a tad bit regretful. i lost something. someone. i lost my doubts about my future. and with that loss of someone, I lost my fear of making my own decisions and my mental block that was hiding away my confidence and acceptance of finally being content with being alone and independent.

i'm not quite as happy as i'd like to be. but for the first time in a long while, i feel hopeful. things are going to change. thank you, 2011, for this marvelous opportunity. bring goodness.

life!

Oh my goodness! Life! That's really all I have to say. So much has been going on lately! And I am so behind on posting. Let me begin by just saying that I absolutely love summer. Because really, as chaotic and stressful as life has been lately, I can never truly be sad or depressed when it's blue skies and 80 degrees. That's just not human. So thank you, weather man! For giving me gorgeous weather at such a crazy time in my life!

So I suppose I'll start by posting about the events that

are the most impressive on my life, and work m

y way back. Starting with my car. (does it feel like that's always the first thing to come up?... maybe because it is..) Well, anyway. I got in a car accident about a week ago, on my return voyage from pre-ordering my iphone 4. (don't worry, iphone 4! you'll be worth it!) The nitty gritty details aren't super necessary, so I'll spare you those. However, it was my fault unfortunately and my poor lexus was totaled. I thought baby had seen her last days, but my father decided to fix her to where she's drivable and then sell her as soon as she's all clean, detailed and about as good as she can be. (which isn't saying much.) Anyways, now I'll be returning my rental car, to replace it with another rental car, until my baby is done. sad times.

In other news, my grandma is moving to Utah! WOOH

OO! I love my grandma oh so dearly. and she has done so much for me in my life, that I don't think I could ever come close to repaying her for her immense kindness and selflessness. it will be nice to be able to visit her whenever I want. I will, however, miss Santa Cruz. My favorite vacation spot above all. But I think all will be right in the world once my grandma moves here, so It's a sacrifice I can accept. I love you, grandma :)

This brings me to my next topic.... Jeremy and Sarah are ENGAGED! about darn time! I am so so excited for these two. I love my brother already, but I literally could not ask for a better sister-in-law, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't exist. Sarah and I have become really good friends in the last couple years, and it will be so wonderful having her as part of the family. I'm also glad Jer found someone to put up with his ridiculous sense of humor! Jeremy and Sarah will be married August 21st. (which kinda stinks, cause b will be in california during that time), but I couldn't be more excited. I love you, brother. I'm so excited for you guys!

Well, everything else in my life isn't all too exciting. Working hard at Pinnacle, and constantly bracing myself for the next wave up layoffs. It's pretty scary, but I have hope that if it does, in fact, happen to me, I'll be ready for it and find another job. I'll be okay. I have my photography, too. Which is always pretty reassuring.

As far as photography goes, I've actually been fairly busy. I did a wedding a couple weeks ago, and am almost done editing the pictures! Then a couple days ago I took Jaycee LeClaire's engagement pictures. Jaycee's one of my dearest friends from home (washington) and, funny story, I actually know her fiancee, too. Back in the Raintree days, when Afton was dating Chris Roper, a kid from Kamas, UT. Chris lived with a few of his really close friends from Kamas, and Bill was one of them. Who, incidentally, happens to be Jaycee's fiancee. It's a very cute love story that I don't have time to post on here, but maybe I will on my photography blog when I post the engagements pictures. :) The exciting thing is that I get to go home to Washington in August (14th, to be exact) to shoot her wedding. I'm very excited.

Also, Jon Bell, (who I'm sure you've heard of in previous posts) and as a brief overview, we've been close friends since about 5 or so years ago when my grandma set me up on a blind date when I visited Santa Cruz, and we hit it off. We've been good friends ever since. Anyway, JB is engaged now, too! So I'll be taking their engagements as well pretty soon here. :) Unfortunately his wedding takes place the same day as Jaycee's, but Im still excited to help out as much as I can.

Well, I think that's about it for photography. I'm super excited for the continuous developments that come with such a fun job. I truly love it and am so grateful for the opportunities I've been given.

As for summer vacations, (because I promised myself I would go on some this year), I'll be going to Colorado next week to shoot Jer's engagements and play with my 6 adorable nephews. And also, will be going to Washington in August for Jaycee's wedding. We'll see if I go on any more, because it seems pretty lame that B won't be able to come to either. :(

WELL! That's life. In a massive, massive nutshell. Sorry for the strenuously long post. Promise it won't be this long again. And thankyouthankyouthankyou for reading.

k.

Blogger world.

I'm so sorry I disappeared again! So so sorry.

Life has been so crazy lately, and Im just barely starting to catch up.

First, I'd like to start by saying that I absolutely love my job at Pinnacle. It's so much fun. The people are great and I really enjoy talking on the phones. I'm super happy with it, and I really hope they decide to keep me on for the fall. But we shall see with that one.

Also, I went to Colorado last weekend, and it was so much fun. It wasn't too action packed or crazy or anything, it was just fun. I took family pictures of my brother's family, of whom I was visiting, and they turned out awesome. You can check them out on my facebook page or shortly on my blog as well. I also took my 9 year old nephew on a school field trip, so that was fun. It was basically just a nice little getaway from Utah and the stresses of it all. It was nice.

I'm also planning on visiting my Grandma in Santa Cruz really soon. I wanted to visit Reno with my best friend, Rachel, but it all just depends on when is most convenient for visiting my Grandma. But I'm crossing my fingers that I can fit both of them in there.

Anyway, I just moved into a new apartment. It's called Winterhaven and its in Orem. Literally 7 minutes from my work, so that's convenient. I only pay 230 for a massive private room, so that's really nice. I like it a lot. Currently it's just me and my other roommate, Rachel. She's an interesting character, to say the least... She has some disorders and definitely some interesting characteristics, but I'm learning to adjust. I guess it'll be good for me, but she can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. But she's really nice, so that's a plus, and definitely something I can't say for some of my past roommates. She also happens to be my second cousin! Small world?

As far as photography goes, I don't have too much to say. I've been so focused on work, that it's difficult to add any additional focus to photography, but I'm managing. If you know of anyone getting married, having a baby, needs family pictures, or just wants portraits done, please please pleeease let me know. :)

Well, that's all the news I have for today! I'll continue to keep you posted on life.

k.