Thursday, October 25, 2007


So today was a pretty good day.
But slowly as it's come to an end, I realized just how lonely my life is. I mean to say, mine personally without outside influences. Friends can only do so much before you realize what it is that you've made of yourself without those friends. I went to my brother, Chris' again to go to my nephews' pinewood derby [Josh and Tyler]. I love the feeling SO much of knowing how much my nephews and brother and sister-in-law love me. It made me realize how much I wouldn't give to just have someone care about me. That is to say, the way Marci and Will care about each other. I mean, sure I've had the opportunity to take a glimpse into that...a minor minor glimpse, but a glimpse none the less. I just wish more than anything to know what it feels like to be so deeply in love with someone, and to know they feel the same way.

In the past it's gone both ways. And from recent experiences, it's hard to tell what feelings were disbursed because it was such a complicated and frustrating relationship. Either way, I was able to come to the conclusion that it was far from feelings of deep love. or love at all, other than the common love you have for another person you're close to.

Anyway, Im sort of just rambling. But I guess what my point is, is that Im so tired of waiting for something glorious to happen. And I wish I had the patience to know that something amazing is coming along, but I don't. I know there is someone out there who I will be able to soon feel so strongly about that this blog will no longer be necessary, but Im impatient. I guess maybe patience is what I need to learn before it happens, however.

Well...Im tired. These are just the thoughts on my mind right now. Anyway, I hope everyone has a good night.
Sleep well, friends and family.



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