Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My epiphany.

So it's extremely late, and I probably shouldn't be up this late writing. But I have no other time that I can this week because tomorrow [Dun dun dun dunnn!] I'm going to the Shiny Toy Guns concert! w00t!

Anyway, this month has been among was of the worst in my life. I'll just come out and honestly say it. There wasn't anything specific making it bad either, I just wasn't happy. Though, now that I think about it, I'm sure there were some definite factors in it. Either way, It was a hard time for me. But there comes times like that in your life when you realize how much a person means to you. Through that hard time there were so many people helping me through it. There were select individuals, however, that no matter what, were there for me. Those are the people I know, will ALWAYS be there for me. No matter what happens. Come rain or shine, they are my best friends. And I feel like listing those 4 people.

Mom: You have such a hard time with everything you go through, and though half of the time you won't admit it, you are in a lot of pain. And yet, for some reason you are ALWAYS able to listen to me. Even if it's a lame story about what happened at work. You know how to put me in a good mood no matter what mood I am in. I love you so much and I am so blessed to have such an amazing mother. I mean that with every fiber of my being. I love you.

Lindsay: You knew exactly what I was going through and exactly how to help me in the time I needed it. Growing up, we always had the hardest time getting along, but now we're so much closer and I'm so so glad. Because you truly are one of my best friends. I love you so much, sis. Thanks for always being there when I need you.

Marci: My twin sister, oh how I love you so. I know that more than anything, you want me to feel that I can turn to you. And I know that i can. I love you and respect you for the decisions you have made in your life. I look up to you so much and I'm so blessed to have such an amazing twin sister in my life. Even though we fight. It's only normal and I love you so much more because of it. haha.

Kali: My best friend in the entire world. We definitely have had our hard times. And though it may be cheesy that I'm dedicating a paragraph in my blog to you, you really are my best friend. No matter who I may lose in my friend circle, you are constantly there whenever I need you. You are one of the few people I know that I could call in the middle of the night and you would listen. I love you, Kal. Thank you for being such an amazing best friend.

Well, there that is. Anyway, after a practical slap in the face, and some long and deep conversations, I realized that there are some things I needed to change before I could truly be happy. A lot of things have been said behind my back by people who I thought really cared about me and who I cared for in return. It hurt to find out, But I realize that by talking in return about people wasn't helping the situation either. So I decided to change it.

I absolutely refuse to speak an unkind word about anyone anymore. Even if it's someone I don't know. It only brings me down. And ever since I have stopped, I have felt so much better about myself and my life. I am able to appreciate things again and I love it. So there is my epiphany, and sort of a new years resolution too, I guess.

Also, I am extremely blessed with an INCREDIBLE job that I wouldn't trade for the world. I thank Heavenly Father for it every single day.

But I am off to bed for now. So have a lovely sleep.



grandma jani said...

Sweetheart, I just checked out your blog for the first time. i saw your link from Lindsay's. You made me cry, you stinker! I love you so much, my cute 'lil "Kells Bells"!

Marie said...

I could tell something has been getting you down. But I am glad to hear that things are on the up for you. College is a hard time. I dealt with my inner battles too. You really have to come to know yourself and what you want out of life. You're awesome girl! I am happy to spend Christmas with you.

lindsay taft said...

You made me cry, too, sis! You, too, are one of my bestest of friends. I love you, Kelli, and I know you'll totally pull out of this (and be only that much stronger). I'm happy you know you can come to me for anything - that's what sisters are for, right?

PS Have you checked out how many people LOVE the photos you took of our family? You really did an awesome job, and w/ just a little digital camera, too - ha!


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