Update!

So my internet is currently out of order. And it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I’m all moved into my apartment now. And I absolutely love it. It’s a completely different experience to live on the back side of Raintree. It’s a lot less social. And there are some girls that live next door that we know from the summer semester. We’ve all tried to be really hard to be nice to them, but they’re really actually fairly rude to us. So we call them the plastics, cause they’re really nice to any hot boys that show interest, but rude to everyone else. Haha. It’s mean…but it just kind of happened that way.

Anyways. Mylena, aka Michelle [her real name is Lena Michelle Phipps] but everyone calls her Michelle. Annie and I call her Mylena, moved in on Sunday finally! After 6 months of waiting for her to move back! Then Kristina and Erin moved in. They both have boyfriends, so Erin’s always gone with hers and Kristina’s always here with her. I absolutely love all my roommates. And though I technically am dating someone, I’m home a lot of the time with my beloved roommates. So Anna, Mylena, Annie and myself all get along perfectly. It’s so much fun. But I am forced to do my math homework at school because it’s impossible when you live with your best friends. Plus, my apartment’s A LOT cleaner and nicer. I absolutely love it.

I also got a job interview yesterday at Magelby’s and I’m hoping I get it. So I’d be working at both Bath & Body Works as well as Magelby’s. And then school too. I really need to be more constructive, and as soon as my car is in proper condition again, life will be much easier.

Oh, and I think my Euro trip is being postponed until the summer of 2009, and instead, Annie, Mylena, and I are flying to Hawaii and staying with Hali, Po Hei, and Leo. Which would be awesome. Aaand I won’t feel like a tourist!

Oh, I also really love my classes I have. They’re awesome. Especially my math class. I’m pretty excited about everything in my life right now. A little stressed, but things are working out well! But that’s my update for now. I’ll write more another day. Gooodbyyye, friends and family!

Music.

I don't know how I've gone so long without finally posting a blog about music. my music. because that's a lot of who I am. I don't know how I ever excluded it. But I'm finally doing it. As a lot of people know, almost anyone knows, music is a huge part of who I am, what I believe and what I stand for. It brings out the emotions that I can't express without the lyrical and melodic therapy I recieve from it. In the last year, I opened my eyes to so much more music than I ever thought could be possible. I didn't even know that there was so much music to be heard, or so many genres. The thing with music is that it tends to define who you are. In high school, mostly. But in general as well. I hate how people get to stereotyping with music. Which is why, when I moved here, I'm so grateful I met the people I did. Or that I was raised the way that I was. In high school, I sort of ended up hanging out with a emo/hardcore group of kids. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it never allowed me to open up musically. Take my dad for instance. As many people know, my dad and my interests are very similar in every sense, not just musically.

I never realized this until our roadtrip to California when we listened to good old Billy Joel. It reminded me that I don't just have to stick with hardcore music to fit in with a crowd of people. The type of music I listen to is my business, but it's nice to relate to someone musically as well.
I think that's the reason I get along so well with people. I've come to a point where I listen to every type of music. Not just because it leaves me neutral with the rest of the music world, but I actually like sharing the same taste in music as everyone else.

About 4 months into living here, I met a kid named Jason Widdison. He was the first person I had met in Utah who knew what good music was. It was refreshing, and so incredible to finally increase my knowledge musically. Then I met Brandon Leavitt, who enhanced that knowledge even moreso. And it wasn't even just new music that they liked. It was the Beatles, the Eagles, Sleepless in Seattle Soundtracks. Absolutely anything and everything.

Since meeting these people, I've grown to have a newfound appreciation for music. Music is so versatile, and it brings people together. It increases and decreases emotion. It calms me and hypes me up. I honestly have no idea where I would be without it. To know that someone in the world has been in the exact situation I have, with the exact feelings I feel.

In conclusion, music is a part of who I am. And it brings me closer to other people. And I'm pretty sure I'd be lost without it. It's what makes my little world go round.

Moving.

So I haven't been online in 24 hours. That is a pretty good record for me. The past two days have been so so hectic! I haven't had any time to spend time with friends whatsoever. I feel pretty anti-social, but it's something I needed to do! Yesterday I woke up at 9:30 and from then on, worked until 4:30 the next morning with no breaks whatsoever. I didn't realize how much work it would take to pack, move and clean the apartment. It was intense. I don't think I realized it until the end of the day, but I had about 4 cans of Dr. Pepper. Which resulted in my system completely crashing at 4:30 am.

It was actually a lot of fun, suprisingly. I was really stressed at first, but I really like having things to do to keep my mind focused. And in the end I feel really accomplished. Usually when I have a lot on my mind, I like to sit back, and relax and set my life in order. But I feel like working for 19 hours straight was actually a lot more useful. Not only that, but in the process of helping myself move, Annie got me in this service mood, where we went and helped other people who needed help too. It was a really good overall experience.

It's been really nice to not have to socialize a lot either. Sometimes it's good to have your mind focused on one thing and to get it done. At around 11:00 last night, however, Annie, Heather, Karem, Zoey and I realized how incredibly hungry we were. Up until that point I had forgotten that I'd only eaten a bowl of cereal in the morning. So we ran to Sonic to find that it was packed, which was sad, because I was really craving sonic. So instead we went to Wendy's. Which was very yummy and though I had a lot to eat, it wasn't as filling as I'd hoped. After I get everything fixed up with my apartment and I get my check in the mail, the first thing I'm doing is buying food for myself.

Anyway, I woke up this morning at 10, because cleaning checks were at 11, so we cleaned everything up, and moved all the leftover stuff to my new apartment. And then I worked for about 4 hours in my room, setting things up and organizing. Then Anna came home so I helped her move all her food to our apartment. And now I'm finally relaxing at 5:30 pm.

School starts tomorrow. And I'm really hoping I can get my car fixed. Bahhh. So much to stress about, but I figure if I just remain calm and organize my goals, things will get done faster.

Oh! I called a certain someone yesterday and finally forgave him for what he did. He told me how sorry he was and what an amazing friend I've been to him, and that he was sorry he never showed me how much he appreciated our friendship. I don't know if we'll ever be friends again, but it's good to have that grudge off my shoulders.

Anyway. I have no idea what I'm doing tonight. Meeting new people in the ward I suppose? Eh. Meeting people is getting so boring now. Haha. But anyway. That's what the last day has been like! I'll write again soon. Byee.

Kelli's sunday.

Well, this morning I woke up with a sore throat. I didn't feel too good, so I asked a co-worker to take notes at the meeting for me. It turns out that Sharon, our manager, is in England [that's where she's from] for the next two weeks, so hardly anyone went to the meeting. Which means that they basically just went over how to do demo's on people. Seeing as I already know how to do that, I wasn't missing out on much.

All day today I've been pretty anxious and a little out there. I'm pretty sure I know why, but I'm going to not focus on it and just hope that the feeling goes away. I had church at one at the new building. At first it felt really strange and foreign. But Jon wasn't there, so I had a lot more room in my mind to focus on the sacrament. Which was really nice. Overall, the spirit was really strong today and I learned alot in church. It was a really good meeting. But I still don't know how I feel about the fact that it's at 1:00.

The lesson in Relief Society was on keeping the sabbath day holy. And listening to it inspired me to really do so. So when I came home, it was kind of weird to have Kendra [my roommate who stole my beatles sweater, but then i stole it back] and Amber deep cleaning the apartment while listening to loud annoying music. I asked her to turn it off so I could listen to the Prince of Egypt Soundtrack. She was kind of negative about it, but in the end, Prince of Egypt won. yay.

Then I ran to the park and met up with Anna Buzan, who I haven't seen in a year or so even though we've both lived in Provo the whole time! We caught up on alot, but then I went back and ate spaghetti with Annie, Karem, Jessica, and Zoey. It was fun.

After, Jeremy, Marci, Will [her boyfriend] and I went to American Fork to attend Lucy's 2nd birthday. It was way fun and it was awesome to be with the whole family again. I love when our family gets together.

We came back and went straight to ward prayer, and Sam asked me to bare my testimony. I loved it, and I'm really glad I got the chance to do so. Anyways. Now I'm back here in my empty apartment. It's nice to have the peace and quiet. It gives me time to clear my mind and think. Even though there are some things I don't want to have to think about right now. But anyway. In response to the keeping the sabbath day holy lesson, I'm just going to pack tomorrow and move in on tuesday. I'll probably go read Eclipse, and go to bed. It's only 11, but I think I need to start sleeping earlier if I'm going to be waking up earlier. Plus, I need to start practicing responsibility. As my dad told me today when he saw that I posted a blog at 4:20 am. haha.

Anyways. I possibly have work tomorrow. Then I'm packing like crazy. I'm sort of hoping I have work just so that I have something else to think about for awhile. Welp, it's off to bed for me. Goodnight, everyone.

Indescribable.

I'm posting this blog for Kali cause apparently I'm behind. haha. Anyways. Since recent events, life has been looking up a lot... I'm not sure why, but it is. My car is still dead, which does, in fact, affect my work schedule. But hopefully it gets fixed soon?

Tomorrow I have a work meeting at 8-10. Then church at ONE. ew, right? Oh, well. I'll handle it. I'm really really glad tomorrow's a busy day. Lots of people are in town that I need to see, and it's my niece's birthday party.

I want more than anything not to see a certain someone at church tomorrow. But I know I'll have to face him at one point or another. Anyway. It's crazy how when you're having a really hard time in your life, someone gets sent to you right when you need them the most. After this...incident, Brandon and I started hanging out again. I missed our friendship so much and I'm really excited to spend time with him again. Around Brandon I feel happier than I have been in a long time. Call it coincidence, call it fate, but either way, I'm really happy things are working out the way they are.

I'm moving to my new apartment tomorrow. I'm very excited. And I start school on wednesday. Not too excited about that. But I need an education, I suppose. I really hate going to bed these days, and I don't know why. I just do. As exhausted as I am. I need to finish reading Eclipse, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Maybe I'll just shut myself out from the world for a couple of days and read. I'll just become unfathomably anti-social. Just kidding...Like that's even physically possible.

Well...I think I'm headed off to bed. It's 4:20, and I have to wake up in 3 hours. Awesome. Goodnight, friends.

Brutality.

I've decided to be completely and brutally honest about my feelings as of late. To start off, I need to say that this month has probably made me the most depressed I have ever been in my entire life. I've let my guard down way too many times and I've lost people I love. I've decided to address each matter separately.



First off, and the one on my mind the most, and that is dedicated to an anonymous person.

To begin, I need to just say it. I thought that I had fallen in love with you. It comes as a pattern for me, to fall in love with my best friends. But the truth is, the person I made you out to be is completely different to the one I thought I was falling for. Being so close to me led me to believe that you wanted something more, and then you completely crushed me. You used and violated me, and to be completely honest, I now only have feelings of resentment towards you. Words could probably never describe how much you hurt me. Because of you, I feel gross and guilty when I have absolutely no reason to feel that way. The only thing I have to say is thank you. Thank you for finally allowing me to see the real you, so that I didn't keep wasting such large amounts of time or emotions on you. I'm done with it. And I hope one day you will come to know what you put me through.

Secondly, As most everyone knows, all of my friends, mostly the ones connected through Brandon, are talking crap about me. It's crazy how many lies a person can make up about you. And I know for a fact that they are lies, because what else could they be? I haven't said or done anything worthy of spreading rumors about. Thus far, the only rumor I have heard, and I'm almost positive there are more where they come from, is that I'm obsessed with my ex-boyfriend and that's the only reason I've become friends with these people. Well, that's incredibly wrong. Why would I want a part in his life, if we're both trying to move on? The truth is, and many people have a hard time believing this, but I get to know people because I want to get to know the person. Because they seem cool, and I like having friends. So if you want to keep having the wrong idea, keep on believing that. But I've had my fill of words about it.

Thirdly, Afton just moved home yesterday. There are a lot of good and bad things about this. Afton and I fought off and on quite a bit. But we also got along perfectly most of the time. We did almost everything together in the beginning, and though we slowly started to fall apart towards the end, the memories we had with eachother will always be there. When Afton left I don't think I realized how much I was going to miss her. Walking into my room and seeing the other half empty was surreal and weird. I know I'll get used to it...but her leaving at a time I need her most...it's hard. But it's what God wants, so I'll turn to him instead.

Fourth of all, my car. My car absolutely hates me. And in the last month, it has overheated 3 times. First it just plain overheated, then the thermostat broke, so it overheated again. Then it overheated the last time because a bolt was missing where the thermostat connected to the tube. Awesome. Then yesterday, my alternator broke, so my car died in the middle of riverwoods as I was driving it. right in front of the roundabout. And my hazards were broken, so people were driving behind me wondering why I wasn't going through the roundabout. Anyways, I've talked to my dad about it, and I think I'm just going to get another car.

Lastly, there's my trip to Europe next year that I'm worried about. Just money-wise. Im worried that if I only have 45 in my bank right now, how am I going to save up 2500 for Europe next year? I'm so poor, and because of it, I'm so stressed.

Overall. I just needed to vent. I have a lot on my mind...as you can tell. Ha.

The new deep.

So, I got the inspiration to write a...well, I don't really know what it is. A poem, I guess? Anyway, I wish it could even come remotely close to the feelings I have, but unfortunately, it amounts to about a quarter of it. Well, it's yours to read. Critique it as you will.

I seem to find myself falling deeper and deeper every single day. I keep trying to trick myself into believing that I'm not, and it seemed to be working. And then...something happens, and it all hits me again. I realize that it's not possible to stop myself from falling if I have no safety net to do so. I just keep going. Faster, faster, until I can't see the earth above or beneath me. sadly enough, I think it's hurting me more falling, than it would be to land. in fact, I wish more than anything to just land. Or that I hadn't begun to fall at all. But of course...we all know I don't really wish that. Falling was the happiest feeling i've felt in the longest time. But now, I feel numb. and the motions are the same. I want to put and end to it. But I've falled far too deep to go back now. I need a safety net. I need to land. Oh, if I could only land. If only the earth was so welcoming. Then I would find the happiness I feel I deserve.

Influenza.

Yes, it is true. I have influenza. How unfortunate, yes? Yesterday was the worst! Work was long and incredibly tedious. But at the same, all the more stressful. I had to write something about practically every product in the store, and I had to watch 4 different videos. Needless to say, it was a long day. Not to mention that the AC was blasting, and along with the chills, it didn't feel so good. I really should stop complaining, though seeing as Kimmy is probably the only one who reads this, It really doesn't matter to me.

Oh, and something new and exciting happened the night before. I got my first bee sting ever! yay! haha. It was excrutiatingly painful, but I can now say that I have been stung by a bee. I also had my first encounter with an illegally drunk man who was harassing us at 7-11. We called the cops on him. But man, was it intense.

I also found out that a certain someone who talks crap behind my back, now actually hates me. But I wish I knew why that was, because I have never said one rude or unkind thing about her or to her in my life. Oh well...people have their insecurities.

Anyway. Today I woke up, and my headache and stomach ache had settled a little, which was good. My sister woke me up at 10 because my brother and sister-in-law are in town with my 6 nephews! We drove to American Fork to play with them. And I'm so very excited because they are now moving to South Jordan. Their oldest, Joshua, 10, is my little buddy. And I'm so excited to have him here so I can watch him grow up.

Wellll, this is all probably really boring for you to read. I can't promise you that all my blogs are fun to read. Most of the time it's because I'm just bored and want to write.

Now I'm off to go play my helicopter game and read Eclipse, which JUST came in the mail. Horray :D


New High Score: 4100

Plastic.

So I thought that by coming to Utah, I would be leaving drama behind.
In high school, I was never really much into drama. And the only drama that was caused because of me, was when I liked Zack. And he liked me. And then Kim hated me because she was in love with him. The truth is, I never got involved with drama. And I never started it. The only way I would ever be involved with it, was by hanging out with people who enforced it. So I strayed away from that crowd. I hung out with people like K-T, Clar, and Austin. Possibly the most carefree, dramaless, open minded people I have ever met. It just made life easier.

In all honesty. I hate confrontation. I hate disappointment. And I hate, above all, assumptions and rumors. As most everyone knows, a lot of rumors have been spread about me as of late. I can't deal with it anymore. I wish more than anything that they could just say it to my face so that I would know what I was doing wrong to fix it. People are so immature. And I think that the reason they never come out and say how they feel is that they almost like hating people. It's almost like the domino effect with conformation. One person hates someone, so it then becomes the fad to hate that person. Well, grow up. And think for yourself. If you hate me, tell me and not another source. You may think you're escaping drama by telling someone else, but you're creating and spreading it.

To make things more clear, no, I do not become friends with someone just to gain a closer connection to a certain source. If you actually cared to get to know me, you would realize that I do it because I'm a nice person. And I like becoming friends with people. No, I'm not using you. That's immature and high school-like. In complete honesty, it's because I want to become friends with you. Believe what you want to. And if you hate me for it, then I suppose it's better we aren't friends in the first place, because I stray away from drama as much as possible.

I know that this probably isn't going to get my point very far across, or across at all. But I needed to get my thoughts out. And I need people to know what I feel. This is in all honesty how I feel. Believe what you will. I'm done trying to fix the damage that has been caused. And I'm moving on. So if you want to grow up and try to figure me out without anyone else's help, talk to me. I'm all ears. Even if you want to write a ten page paper explaining in every minor detail what you hate about me, I'm completely willing to listen. Sleep well, everyone. Goodnight.

Cansei de Ser Sexy

Currently, I have this new band that I've been completely infatuated with.
They're called CSS (Cansei de Ser Sexy) from Brazil. And they're pretty much phenominal. I'm going to Brandon's tonight to get their music off of his computer. And Im way excited.

So today has and will be an awesommme day. Im in a way good mood. Earlier today I woke up and deposited my check. Then I bought some new clothes for work tomorrow. And I'm super excited about it. Then I got gelato with Afton. And now I'm here shopping for shoes online and talking to my english friend.

After this at 6, Kimmy and I are going shopping for the closing social this evening and then I'm going longboarding from 8-10ish. And thennn finally getting some good old CSS from B.

Hmmm. Anyways. Everyone have a marvelous day. I shall write again soon. Byee.

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

Today I found out that my best friend in the entire world, Afton, is moving back home to Washington. This not only means that I wont have my best friend here for me when I need a shoulder to lean on, but that all my ties to Washington are cut off, and it's going to be very hard for me to make it back out there for a very long time. So, pretty much. My life has generally been sucking a lot lately. I've decided to make a positive and negatives list. Starting with the negatives so that I can end with the positives.

Negatives.

• My best friend is moving home.
• People are spreading a lot of rumors lately.
• My car is having major thermostat issues.
• Uhmm, I have no life.
• I'm -$26.00 at the bank.
• I can't visit home for a long time so I can save up for Europe.
• My dog was put to sleep.
  

Positives.

• I'm hopefully going to Europe in May.
• My job and school start soon.
• I still have Marci and Jon here.
• My apartment is clean and the carpets just got cleaned.
• My rent is paid for until October.

I think that sort of put me in a better mood. Anyways. The rest of this will be a dedication to Afton and the times that we've spent together. As well as a collaboration of pictures. Yay :]

Wednesday awakening.

This morning promptly at 9 am, I was awoken by the carpet cleaners. They informed us that the bedrooms needed to be clean. If you've ever seen mine and Afton's bedroom, you would probably be fascinated by the fact that it only took us 5 minutes to clear the floor. [Yes, that did include some stuffing into the closets], however, I did, in fact, get to finally throwing a lot of things away for which I was very proud of myself :D I'm not too upset about the fact that I was awoken, mainly because I'm going to have to start getting up early anyway with my new job and such. P.s. I recently got a job at Bath & Body Works and I begin it on friday.

Anyways. The fact that my apartment is now covered in tubes and cords, means that Afton and I were forced into my twin sister, Marci's apartment. Which has left me in utter boredom. Therefore, I am going to write a brief introduction on myself.

First off. My full name is Kelli Renee LeBaron. And this is my most recent picture. I currently live in Provo, UT. Home for me, however, will always be Camas, WA. My parents just barely moved to Lehi, UT to be closer to us, so it's a lot harder to go home to visit, but I'm going to put forth the effort to do so. There are 9 people in my family. My mom, my dad, My oldest brother, Chris [Married with 6 boys], Mike [Married with 2 girls], Jordan [Married with a boy and a girl], Lindsay [Married with 2 boys], and Jeremy [22] and Marci [My twin sister.] We turn 20 on September 24th.

I have a lot of people I call my best friends, when really I just mean that they're my really close friends. Because best friends are people who you would do absolutely anything on this earth for. And as easy as it is to say that you'd do anything for a person, it's a lot harder when it actually gets to that point. My really close friends include: Alissa Lewis [Practically my sister]
, Annalisa Keddington [My roommate in the fall], Annelisa High [My current and fall roommate], Camille Evans [Camas, WA], Turner Lobey [Camas, WA], Madeline Hewitt, and Kali Harris.

Alissa

Anna

Annie

Camille

Turner

Maddie

Kali

Then, there are, of course, my best friends. Which include: Marci LeBaron [my twin sister], Afton Fullmer [my best friend of almost 3 years. She came out to college with me, and as of fall we will be split up for the first time in a year], Stephanie Fullmer [Afton's little sister], Jonathan McDonald [best friend as of 2 months ago].

Marci & Me

Afton & Me

Stevie

Jon

There's a lot more about me that I have yet to say, but over time, I'll get to that. Anyways, I'm all out of time for now. So I'll write again soon! Goodbye, friends.

Tuesday Infatuations.

The other night, a discussion was brought up at Jon's apartment. We somehow came up with the topic on Skinwalkers. For a better definition, go to this site here. Lately I've been researching them like crazy. It's just way intriguing. That's just one of my infatuations.

Another is my infatuation with 7-11. It's more like an addiction. I go there almost every night between the hours of 10 pm and 3 am with practically the same mission each time. To purchase a medium slurpee (either pina colada, cherry coke, or regular coke) and a small bag of wint-o-green mints. I swear, I have a million cavities from doing so, but it's an addiction. And well, I don't want to disappoint Raj by not visiting him anymore. After all, we are practically best friends.

Last of all, I've discovered that I have an obsession with dying, cutting, and overall damaging my hair. In the last year, I have highlighted it blonde, added purple streaks, red streaks, and brown streaks. Then I dyed it dark brown and put two chunky blonde and two chunky red streaks in. Then a few weeks later, colored it allll blonde again. and now I am continually going lighter, though I desperately wish to darken it again. Next fall I've decided I am going to do my hair like Dawnie Tsunami from Victim Effect. However, Im going to dye my hair dark brown instead. no tint of red whatsoever, and have blonde streaks sprouting out like such. It's gonna be sa-weeet.

Anyways. That's all for today. Enjoy the sun. It's blistering hot, and Im going to soak it up by swimming in it. Horray for giant holes filled with water and chlorine! :D

The beginning.

I've come to a turning point in my life.
And it only feels necessary when something like this occurs, to write about it. I've decided to start a blog site, seeing as I so freely opinionate over myspace blogs as it is. It's been a very long, exhausting and trying day. But it is my goal from this point forward to write in my blogsite everyday without fail. Though, I'm almost positive I will fail frequently, my goal will still remain intact. Well, it's time for me to go to bed. But I will be sure to continue this tomorrow. Goodnight! :)