Friday, August 10, 2007

Plastic.

So I thought that by coming to Utah, I would be leaving drama behind.
In high school, I was never really much into drama. And the only drama that was caused because of me, was when I liked Zack. And he liked me. And then Kim hated me because she was in love with him. The truth is, I never got involved with drama. And I never started it. The only way I would ever be involved with it, was by hanging out with people who enforced it. So I strayed away from that crowd. I hung out with people like K-T, Clar, and Austin. Possibly the most carefree, dramaless, open minded people I have ever met. It just made life easier.

In all honesty. I hate confrontation. I hate disappointment. And I hate, above all, assumptions and rumors. As most everyone knows, a lot of rumors have been spread about me as of late. I can't deal with it anymore. I wish more than anything that they could just say it to my face so that I would know what I was doing wrong to fix it. People are so immature. And I think that the reason they never come out and say how they feel is that they almost like hating people. It's almost like the domino effect with conformation. One person hates someone, so it then becomes the fad to hate that person. Well, grow up. And think for yourself. If you hate me, tell me and not another source. You may think you're escaping drama by telling someone else, but you're creating and spreading it.

To make things more clear, no, I do not become friends with someone just to gain a closer connection to a certain source. If you actually cared to get to know me, you would realize that I do it because I'm a nice person. And I like becoming friends with people. No, I'm not using you. That's immature and high school-like. In complete honesty, it's because I want to become friends with you. Believe what you want to. And if you hate me for it, then I suppose it's better we aren't friends in the first place, because I stray away from drama as much as possible.

I know that this probably isn't going to get my point very far across, or across at all. But I needed to get my thoughts out. And I need people to know what I feel. This is in all honesty how I feel. Believe what you will. I'm done trying to fix the damage that has been caused. And I'm moving on. So if you want to grow up and try to figure me out without anyone else's help, talk to me. I'm all ears. Even if you want to write a ten page paper explaining in every minor detail what you hate about me, I'm completely willing to listen. Sleep well, everyone. Goodnight.

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