day 13- a letter to someone

dear anonymous,

i guess i'll never know why you did what you did.

it really sucks to put so much time and effort into something and not get anything back.

but you know, i guess that's life.

and about half of life is full of disappointment, so i'm not going to let it devour me.

i hope you find happiness at some point in your life.

one day you'll really deserve it.

i also hope that one day you'll realize what a great thing it was that you lost.

i cared about you, and supported you in all of your trials and downfalls.

i learned a lot from the addition and loss you were in my life,

so at least i have that to be thankful for.

so thanks.

sincerely, me.

on a happy note,

no more sugar for kel!

starting today i'm on a no sugar diet.

it's been pretty tricky so far.

and i have a strawberry fruit roll-up in my purse that's calling my name.

but i will not heed the call. i will persevere in this endeavor.

i'll end the challenge on march 1st, in hopes of completely kicking my sugar addiction.

because guess what.

(i have 15 cavities.)

ahhhh! i know, right? no more sugar for me.

no no no no no.

day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one

booooring.

kind of getting to the point where i'm ready for this blog challenge to be done.

then I can get back to blogging just to blog.

but, I guess to answer the question...

i just decided to get a blog one day.

i don't think it was anything in particular that made me decide it.

maybe my sister-in-law, marie, was a little bit of an inspiration with make & takes.

she's basically a blogging genius.

i just like blogging, and having a place to look back, kiiind of like a journal, but with more pictures and less juicy gossip.

it's pretty straightforward, and pretty simple.

alright, i'm ready for the next blog challenge.

that one was no fun.

day 11- another picture of you and your friends

sisters. friends. same thing.

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

oh my goodness.

this should be a difficult one.

you see, i used to own an 80gb ipod,

and on that ipod, i had a playlist,

and that playlist contained all my favorite songs of all time.

but i lost that 80gb ipod,

and along with it, my playlist,

and with that, my list of all time favorite songs.

so now i can't very well remember all of my all time favorite song.

because i have a lot of them.

a. lot.

but i'll try to the best of my ability to achieve this goal.

also, i'll warn you now that i'm going to cheat, because i have a lot of songs i listen to for each mood.

so i'll be listing multiple songs for each category.

my apologies, creator of this blog challenge.

happy:

the radicals - you get what you give

hall & oats - you make my dreams come true

saves the day - can't stay the same (which is actually a sad song, ha)

ELO - mr. blue sky

third eye blind - semi charmed life

Sad:

brand new - jesus christ

damien rice - cold water OR nine crimes

saosin - you're not alone

death cab for cutie - plans (the entire album)

stars - personal OR heart

Bored:

my chemical romance - you know what they do to guys like us

radiohead - karma police

the bird & the bee - polite dance song

mungo jerry - in the summertime

temper trap - sweet disposition

mates of state - re-arrange us (the entire album)

Hyped:

kanye west - stronger

muse - hysteria

the rapture - no sex for ben

dashboard confessional - fever dreams

lil' mama (feat. chris brown) - shawty get loose (so random)

Mad:

green day - brain stew 

jimmy eat world - takes my pain away

atreyu - lead sails paper anchor (the entire album)

the used - pretty handsome awkward

(i don't get truly mad very often)

so there you have it, my list.

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days

Something I'm proud of?

Well, gee.

I'd easily have to say that was cleaning my room.

Or, almost anyway.

I've been prolonging it since I've moved to my apartment

mostly because I have a lot of boxes and no space for them.

so I was fiiiinally able to get my room organized

boxes included.

yay me.

On a random note, I thought of an additional random fact about myself.

drumroll, please.......

I hate gluten! I've always hated bread (unless it's homemade) and flour tortillas. I also don't much care for cake. But I could never really figure out why, until the other day when I was ordering enchiladas and I asked if it was corn or flour. He said corn, so I ordered them. Then he said, "someone doesn't like gluten!" and then I realized that that's what it is! I dislike gluten. So now I can bake without gluten and actually enjoy cakes or cookies, or whatever it is I'm cooking that's gluten free. I know, I'm so weird.

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

I don't like this challenge.

I'm horrible at posting goals because overtime, I remember that there are more I want to add.

So I'll just list the ones off the top of my head.

Because it is Monday, and I don't have a whole lot of thinking capacity right now.

Goal #1: Save save save. Over the next month, I want to get to a stable point financially where I'm not having to put only $10 of gas in my tank, and so that I don't have to depend on anyone else. Dependency is bad.

Goal #2: Keep my room and my car clean. (After I get them 100% clean, of course.) I've pretty much cleared my car out, and I spent all day Saturday deep cleaning my room. With the help of my amazing sister and her trusty vacuum. Which unfortunately pooped out before we could clean the corners due to the amount of nastyness that clogged it up. Now I just have a few more things to do before my room becomes the ideal college bedroom. Horrah!

Goal #3: TRY to only eat out 2 times a week at most. I eat out wayyy too much. I finally went grocery shopping, so now I have no excuse to not eat at home.

Goal #4: Try to go out of my way for other people more often. I've been pretty selfish lately because my life has been pretty crazy and stressful. But I'm getting to a point where I'm fairly stable and happy, and I want to focus those positive vibes on other people who are in more need of my help.

I can't think of anymore goals. I'll post more if I think of some.

happy monday.

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

My grandma is one of the most incredible people I know. She is in all honesty the most giving, selfless, and caring person I have ever met. She has given up more than any person should in their lifetime, and in comparison to all that she has given, has hardly received anything in return. And yet, she is still so happy and grateful for her life. Not once in my lifetime have I ever seen my grandma act bitter or unkind to another person. You really have no idea of what true selflessness is until you've met her.

Aside from the numerous redeeming qualities my grandmother possesses, she is also one of my biggest supporters.  She has so much faith in me, and continues to love and support me through all of the many things I have been through. My grandma and I share a lot of the same characteristics, and I can't think of anyone I look up to more. She is what I aspire to be everyday, and the reason that I am where I am today. 

I love you, Grandma.

day 6- favorite super hero and why

Before I post today's challenge results, I need to get something off my chest. 

I hate living with 7 other girls.

I know. I bet you didn't know that I did.

I'm a fairly easy person to live with. And for the most part, I enjoy living with people.

I thought this would be an okay thing for me.

And I'm finding that I was incredibly wrong.

It may just be that I'm more irritable than normal, but when there is constant noise in the apartment, I get tired of it after awhile. Maybe it's the fact that I go to bed at 11:30-Midnight and half of my roommates are still awake and talking above the necessary noise level. Or that when I ask them to keep it down, by the time I'm back in my room again, it's back to that obnoxious (I can't sleep even with my pillows over my ears) sound. Or maybe it's the fact that when I wake up on a Saturday morning and I just want to relax and have a nice breakfast in my own solitude, I can't even be bothered to leave my room because even though the likelihood of there being only 4 girls in the living room is pretty accurate, it sounds like it's the entire relief society.

I don't get it. What do people not understand about common courtesy?

I just want to move out and live in an apartment all by myself.

Hopefully I can do that come April. 

Alright. I apologize for that little rant.

Onto my daily challenge.

Mistique.

Why? 

Because she can shape shift into anyone. And not only that, she's sexy and seductive.

Need I say more?

day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to

santa cruz has a little piece of my heart.

♥

day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have

I wish that I didn't get so darn easily distracted.

I have the attention span of a 5 year old.

Mine actually may or may not be worse.

Especially because I'm currently visiting with dear Aunt Flow.

I hate it. So incredibly much.

It makes it impossible to organize my thoughts

and to really express how I feel about things,

because somehow my thoughts end up getting lost between my mind and my mouth.

It also happens to cause a lot of disorganization in my life.

my room is messy, my car is messy.

overall, my life is messy.

I want to take the time to clean it, but

I. get. so. distracted.

I need to really work hard to make it a priority.

I'm never happy when I'm disorganized.

Oh. Another habit I have?

Getting my hopes so high and set on something,

that when it doesn't end up happening,

I get really disappointed.

I hate how much I guilt trip people

(mostly Brandon)

for things that don't end up working out

for very valid reasons.

Sometimes I just suck.

day 3- a picture of you and your friends

Whoa, what? Where did this picture come from?

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name

So yesterday I forgot to include (thanks for the reminder, sister) as one of my interesting facts that I love music. I figured I didn't really need to say it because it's a pretty well known fact about little ol' me. BUT while I'm on that subject, listen to my two new favorite songs. 

Cage The Elephant - Shake Me Down

The Temper Traps - Fader (I was able to find this one for my playlist)

Marci, you'll love the second one. And the first one, too, maybe. Anyway, so that's #16 of my 15 interesting facts about myself. 

So onto day 2. The meaning behind my blog name: 

I started this blog when I was semi-dating Brandon, but I was kind of crazy about him. And not in a good way. Like in the "I'm crazy" kind of way. Then he kind of pulled a jerk move and I kind of pulled a psycho ex-girlfriend move and we stopped talking for awhile. After that, I kind of started reaching a self discovery part of my life. 'A New Chapter' if you will. And that's where the name came from.

Just to clear the air, I'm not psycho anymore. And he treats me far better than I deserve. Just so we're all on the same page.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

My apologies to mi hermana who expected me to post this the day after I announced it.

Busy busy weekend, that's for sure.

But I'm back now for your 30 day blog post pleasure.

So first of all, here is a recent picture of me:

Now, the hardest part. 15 interesting facts about myself.

1. I am no longer addicted to wint-o-green mints. I know, I know. I'm pretty impressed myself. But it's all thanks to my roommate, Andrea Kadish, who bought me an entire stocking full of mints. My roommates told me I was never going to be able to make it last longer than a week, and of course, knowing my competitive manner, I had to prove them wrong. I got that stocking the week before Christmas and I STILL have mints in there. I only eat maybe 5 a day and that's it. I'm so proud :)

2. I have a huge love and desire to involve myself with culinary arts. I wish I could cook more, but with a major lack of space (I literally have no idea where my 'spot' is in the fridge and cabinets because my roommates overcrowd whichever place that may be) it's impossible to ever keep random ingredients in my apartment. In high school, I really wanted to go to the Art Institute of Portland for the Culinary Arts program, but I never did. And now I regret not doing anything with it. One day I'll be like my dad and cook random things all the time with really weird, yet surprisingly delicious, ingredients.

3. I have pretty bad ADHD. It was really bad for me when I was growing up, and then I was able to grow out of it in high school. Recently, with the entire weight of my financial burdens upon my shoulders, it's gotten quite a bit worse. It makes it really difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time. Writing 15 facts about myself, for instance, is one of those things. Because of that fact, my anxiety is heightened quite a bit as well and I'm also extremely forgetful. It's not very fun.

4. Growing up, Marci and I were never very close. I mean, when we were little, we were dressed the same, and we played with the same friends, but not particularly by choice. Then in high school, we hung out with totally different groups of people. I hung out with the kids who didn't so much care about their education while she hung out with the popular honor roll kids. She was prom queen and I was a speech and debate groupie. But now that we're in college and she's off and married, I couldn't actually imagine my life without her. She is my best friend in the entire world and I am so lucky to have two other halves instead of one.

5. I'm having an impossible time coming up with 15 interesting facts about myself. I'm realizing I'm not as interesting as I thought.

6. For being so incredibly uncoordinated, I catch on pretty quick to things. I don't really understand how I got so good at longboarding, but I guess I got lucky. I was also a varsity long jumper, and the second best in my school. My score even went on the records. Check it out. No, I am not ashamed to show my high jumping records. They just further prove how uncoordinated I actually am. But check out that 2nd place score I got against Ft. Vancouver. Woot woot!

7. I finally came to a point where I don't constantly feel the need to dye my hair. I've actually had it this same color for about a year, I think. Which would explain how long it's finally gotten. However, I am now trying to decide if I want to go back to blonde or stay dark. I realize the blonde is a black and white image, but your thoughts?

8. My girl friend meter is running low. And for the first time ever, I'm totally okay with it. I have Marci and I have Brandon. And I have a few other people who I can talk to should I need that consolation. But for the most part, Brandon and Marci are all I need, and I am entirely happy with that.

9. I miss high school.

10. One day I want to write a two sided novel about being a twin.

11. I'm at a point in my life where I am sick of living with roommates and ready to move up. The only problem is that I don't know how to get to the next step. Costs lots-o-money to live by yourself and I'm not 100% ready for marriage yet. Within the year, I'd love for that to happen, but I don't really want to base all my decisions off of that hope. Decisions, decisions.

12. I really really really want to go on a Disney cruise. I think it would be the one of the funnest things in the world for me. Part of me wants to go before I even have kids so that I can soak up all the fun without having to consider nap times and kiddy rides.

13. I truly want kids, and I think I'm really good with them. But I'm terrified of being a mother. I really can't imagine myself being that dedicated to being a mother. I still feel so young. And though I don't want kids for at least another 5 years, (yes, I'm aware marriage has to come first) I still can't imagine that I'll ever feel adult enough to hold such an immense responsibity. One can only hope

14. I watched the Goonies the other day and it made me desperately miss the Northwest. I can't wait to go back. I'm hoping I can go back in March but I'm really excited to go back in August for a friend's wedding. And I'm hoping that Brandon can come out with me because he's never been.

15. I wouldn't recommend anyone else fill this out unless they're feeling really creative. It's quite the challenge.

Yes! 1 of 30 done.

it's happening.

i'm following the trends. mostly because it could be really entertaining for you. but mostly because it will be entertaining for me.

i'm doing the 30 day challenge.

here's the list:

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

day 30- your favorite song

kudos to Chelsea Hancock for the idea.

i'll start the posting tomorrow.

also, happy 100th blog post!

groovin'

I've become obsessed with exercising. I know, about time, right?

Last night I went to an ab workout class at 24 Hour fitness.

I'm still waiting for the soreness to kick in. I'm starting to feel it in my arms and a little in my abs, but I think tomorrow I'll feel it a lot more

Yep. Totally did all those moves.

The last couple of days I've been feeling semi-aggressive and irritable.

It's a problem.

But I may have found a solution.

Now I may want to eat healthier simultaneously.

I have a feeling that things like this

aren't necessarily going to whip me into shape.

I wish I was married.

So that I had more space in my apartment to cook. One day, I'll cook things like this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

But until then, I'm unfortunately stuck with this:



Twin sister is my inspiration for cooking post-marriage. One day.

addict.

reading.

hardboiled/deviled eggs.

jamba juice oatmeal.

smart food white cheddar popcorn.

my babez.

education.

I miss school. Every measly inconvenient thing about it.

I want to go back so badly that it sometimes hurts.

I haven't been back to school in about 3 years.

I should be graduated by now.

But no.

I'm not.

My twin sister, Marci, is my absolute role model. Growing up, I basically did the majority of her assignments. She's doesn't pick things up as quickly as I do, but she's so much more determined than I am, and she's changed a lot since high school. She's married and she's still 100% dedicated to finishing school and getting a nursing degree. She never quits. She's taken multiple classes several times, and the more she takes the class, the more determined she is to do better. I'm not naturally like that. Once I suck at something, I give up. That's what happened when I was enrolled in school.

I've tricked myself into thinking that I'm in a field of study that doesn't require schooling. But that's just plain silly. Everyone requires schooling. Being out of school for so long literally makes me feel like my brain is leaking knowledge. I've been reading a lot lately because there's not much else to do at my job, and I remember every time I pick up my book, that I adore English. If I could go back to school just to take English oriented classes, I would.

It's because of this epiphany, that I decided that I'm going to get back into school. After I pay off all the debt on my teeth. (lots-o-root canals.) I'm hoping that A: my tax cut's a big one. and B: that when and if I get married, I'll be able to get a pell grant.

Wish me luck in my endeavor.

I'm alive!

I am so grateful for my opportunity to live. The last 24 hours, I've been getting over a bit of a stomach ache, and last night I felt like I was dying because I almost passed out due to the pain and dehydration. Anyways, my point to all this is that on my date the other night, Brandon took me to see 127 hours. Seriously one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. I haven't cried tears of happiness in a movie in a very long time and this was definitely an emotionally draining movie. It's pretty graphic and a little hard to stomach at times, but it made me feel so lucky that I've never been put through any trials like that of Aron Ralston's.

If you don't know the story of 127 hours, it's a true story about a guy from Colorado who goes to Utah to climb and doesn't tell anyone where he's going. He falls into a small canyon and his hand gets jammed under a boulder making it impossible for escape. 5 days into being trapped, Aron cuts his own arm off and escapes and then proceeds to walk 8 miles. It's an incredibly beautiful story and I recommend that anyone and everyone see it.

good day.

I'm at my job. writing on my blog. how cool is that? first job ever that that's been an option. today is a good day. I got a great sleep last night. I'm feeling good about life and I love my job. AND it's the weekend. Tonight Brandon is taking me out on a surprise date, and I am excited.

So enough about my day. I've been waiting for lightyears to get my music off of B's computer and I still have yet to do it. so instead I've depended upon old albums I have on my mac and newer albums as well. therefore, I am going to share with you my latest musical obsessions. presenting:

My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Favorite Track - S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Kanye West - My Dark Twisted Fantasy

Favorite Track - Monster

The Garden State Soundtrack

Against Me! - New Wave

Favorite Track - Thrash Unreal

Freelance Whales - Weathervanes

Favorite Track - Kilojoules

Ah yes. And my current movie obsession would be...

This movie had a lot of graphic scenes and it was a bit more on the explicit side, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was beautifully done, and the music was incredible. It was very psychologically disturbing, which is a big part in why I enjoyed it, but I thought it was an incredible movie and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys psychological thrillers.

Well, blog viewers (the few of you that there are), back to work it is. I shall post about my date night when I get a chance. Even if it's not very exciting. until next time! over and out.

two thousand eleven.

please year, be kind to me.

hello again, blog. I have yet to completely forsaken you, even though at times (in this case, the last 6 months) I totally neglect you.

i'm back again. i want it to be for reals this time.

lately i've read lots of blogs about last year's events. i truly wish i could do that. but i'll just get it out right now. i have the worst memory in the world. i've yet to be diagnosed with a proper disorder by an actual doctor. but it's the sad, bitter, and inescapable truth.

but blessed be, there is a temporary cure. and that also happens to be my new years resolution. that is to frequently write about my day. it doesn't matter where. a notebook. a word document. my blog. a scratch piece of paper. a text. just somewhere that i can look back and say, "this happened right before that because so-and-so wasn't even there at such and such a time." do you see what i mean? that's my first new years res. my second is to compile a full-on list of my new years resolutions.

forgetfulness aside, there were several things that happened last year, more specifically towards the end of the year, that changed a lot about me. a lot about the way i think, feel, and act. in all honesty, they weren't the best experiences going through them. some were a tad bit regretful. i lost something. someone. i lost my doubts about my future. and with that loss of someone, I lost my fear of making my own decisions and my mental block that was hiding away my confidence and acceptance of finally being content with being alone and independent.

i'm not quite as happy as i'd like to be. but for the first time in a long while, i feel hopeful. things are going to change. thank you, 2011, for this marvelous opportunity. bring goodness.