Wednesday, January 5, 2011

two thousand eleven.

please year, be kind to me.

hello again, blog. I have yet to completely forsaken you, even though at times (in this case, the last 6 months) I totally neglect you.

i'm back again. i want it to be for reals this time.

lately i've read lots of blogs about last year's events. i truly wish i could do that. but i'll just get it out right now. i have the worst memory in the world. i've yet to be diagnosed with a proper disorder by an actual doctor. but it's the sad, bitter, and inescapable truth.

but blessed be, there is a temporary cure. and that also happens to be my new years resolution. that is to frequently write about my day. it doesn't matter where. a notebook. a word document. my blog. a scratch piece of paper. a text. just somewhere that i can look back and say, "this happened right before that because so-and-so wasn't even there at such and such a time." do you see what i mean? that's my first new years res. my second is to compile a full-on list of my new years resolutions.

forgetfulness aside, there were several things that happened last year, more specifically towards the end of the year, that changed a lot about me. a lot about the way i think, feel, and act. in all honesty, they weren't the best experiences going through them. some were a tad bit regretful. i lost something. someone. i lost my doubts about my future. and with that loss of someone, I lost my fear of making my own decisions and my mental block that was hiding away my confidence and acceptance of finally being content with being alone and independent.

i'm not quite as happy as i'd like to be. but for the first time in a long while, i feel hopeful. things are going to change. thank you, 2011, for this marvelous opportunity. bring goodness.


Marci LeBaron Watson said...

Eet by Regina Spektor is my new favorite song. I love your blog layout, therefore, I nominate you, Kell Bell Renee, to re-layout my blog. I know, your dream has come true. :D I love you lovely sis.


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